Vee
United States
Beast Mode
Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
ZAnon
Houston, United States
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
Angel
Utica, United States
Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
Anonymous
Southfield, United States
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
sillydoggy
United States
Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML
aXel
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
life//
Fort Mcmurray, Canada
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
anyonmus
Westminster, United States
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
emilyhendrix0414
United States
Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML
Kelsiiii
Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo
Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It could be an expression of her struggle for dominance, or maybe she just likes dat ass! I had a female lab mix that would try to hump my arm. To stop this behavior, I’d say in a deep voice,”No! You need to buy me dinner first!”
Inkoseh 33
It would just be called doggy style...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
GhostFox 34
That's a behavior problem if it's a full grown adult female, especially if she's been neutered. You need to reaffirm boundaries with her.
RichardPencil 32
It could be an expression of her struggle for dominance, or maybe she just likes dat ass! I had a female lab mix that would try to hump my arm. To stop this behavior, I’d say in a deep voice,”No! You need to buy me dinner first!”
exileonmainst 16
I know of cowgirl, but doggirl? That's new!
Inkoseh 33
It would just be called doggy style...
exileonmainst 16
Not if the girl is mounting you..
ARISKomuniszt 24
Just trying to be a personal trainer, I'm sure.
Lobby_Bee 18
Look If you had One shot Or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted In one moment Would you capture Or just let it slip?
midnightangel981 8
Uh..what does that have to do with the FML?
Glowworm56 27
She takes downward dog very seriously.