Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
Today, my kids are mad I won’t let them hang out at the “cool” parents house. You know, the house with no rules. I’ve heard way too many horror stories, too many true crime documentaries, plus personal experience, to ever let that happen. I will never EVER trust adults that like to party with kids. FML
Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML
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Top comments
tigerlilypop 7
Well shit, go chill with them cool parents.
xlorawrz 9
And she's only five? Imagine the teenage years.
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Comments (147)
fedora11 12
Teach your child some manners and respect.
letsgooo_fml 23
Teach her manners. That's just rude, especially for a 5 year old.
dwsgirl 8
Take her hand in yours and remind her where her food comes from. There are more important things out there; it's good to learn early.
puppytaco64 8
117, Hippie much? Iet me guess, school is just another way "the man" controls everyone's life's.
sierralovesyou 0
Sounds like you should start hanging out with the cool parents.
valdancer99 0
Go get em' tiger!
xweon 8
I'm so sorry that is terrible
brando_jones96 0
C'mon...dont be THAT parent!
KushMastaDisasta 3
102- I wouldn't really care if the comment was remotely funny. I don't see the humor in calling someone arrogant, especially someone you know nothing about.
Irenectc 3
I wonder if im a cool prarent