Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 24
"...Hello darkness, my old friend..."
tonyfan00 38
Let me guess what happened next: the cashier pointed out that you were naked, and while everyone was laughing all your teeth fell out.
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Comments (25)
JasonThorn 24
"...Hello darkness, my old friend..."
RichardPencil 32
Were your aunt and uncle customers or cashiers?
Little Richard 11
Dad, you need to come home now!
RichardPencil 32
Maybe. Hearing your aunt and uncle explain the butt plug and ***** return policy to irate customers has been quite nauseating!
tonyfan00 38
"To add insult to injury, my girlfriend was buying an extra-small *****, and I was buying an XXL fleshlight."
tonyfan00 38
Let me guess what happened next: the cashier pointed out that you were naked, and while everyone was laughing all your teeth fell out.
Lobby_Bee 18
Butt plug for you or your girlfriend?
TeachAllTheMath 19
So many thumbs down but this question is legit!
zezili 18
Well at least you were with a partner and not on your own. Eh, they were in a similar position to you, so the embarrassment is mutual and you know they can't judge you so I reckon you'll be ok mate :)
Dave_Davington 35
Really, I think that's actually kind of reassuring. It just goes to show that you're no more perverted than everyone else.
katydid91 31
"It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood"
NostalgiaFreak9 43
A beautiful day for a neighbor
SadiyaRabia 8
Everybody's getting into it.
davecross 11
I bet you guys will never have sex again or look your teacher and aunt and uncle in the eyes again
Dave_Davington 35
I know I took a lifelong vow of celibacy the last time I bumped into someone I know at the porno store.