Maybe OP lives in Hogwarts

#1, that was my first thought too!

Lmao probably one of the best FML I've ever seen lol

14- Pft, nah. Dumbledore would never let Dementors into Hogwarts, unless they were guarding the school from a wanted criminal... OP is obviously close to Azkaban.

35-Dumbledore couldn't control the dementors all the time. how else did they end up in Little Whinging?

"The Force is in the odds with this muggle" - Sherlock Holmes from Doctor Who

OP: Be gone or I shall suck you...r soul.

Dumbledore? Pfft, what an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar. Rumbleroar's the headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion. Who can TALK.

Stray animals

Oscar the Grouch. :P

His patronus would be a kind hearted dog!

Bill the Cat

Whiskey bottle

A shopping cart?

His denchers

That is the most awesome old man ever

I read that in Dolores Umbridge's voice and I felt like slapping you in the face. I hated that woman so much.

Although as a Dementor is involved, this could be classed as a life or death situation and therefore magic performed in such situation can be in the presence of muggles.

#12, this is true, but to mistake a human (and potential muggle, at that!) for a demontor implies that the wizard in question was overeager in his action. Moreover, to leave the target in posession of her memory after the event without even attempting to notify the Ministry... Unthinkable. #11, it's ok, we all hated her. That's what made her so amazing. She was a fantastic character, but a bloody dreadful person. :')

*hem* *hem*

For gods sake, Dolores, do you need a cough drop?

Bah, dementors are overrated, far too obvious. If you want the most out of a soul you have to sneak it out without them knowing.

44, Your profile picture completes your comment.

44- Well, if she's munching on Muggle souls, then they wouldn't be able to see her, so wouldn't that count as sneaking up?

It's just the dementors' kiss

But op isn't actually a dementor, so the kiss of death is entirely plausible.

Oops! *brave