Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML
Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML
Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML
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Top comments
realworldready 0
You SOB!!! A) For crashing her car B) And this is more important, for describing those ******* cookies on FML! Asshole!!! Do I have triple-chocolate-double-mint cookies topped with Andes' mints right now? NO!!!! And now I definitely want some! YOU SUCK!!! YDI!!!
lesp 6
Wow. FHL. Were you drunk?
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Comments (171)
missus_butter 0
Hell yes, your life is ******, because you apparently can't tell that 2 1/2 isn't a whole number. Douche.
ashmash 0
By any chance did this crash occur in Riverside, CA? I saw a new looking silver mustang crashed into a cement divider on Sunday. Anyway, it's not really likely, because I'm sure there are hundreds of thousands of new mustangs out there. just thought i'd ask
stop_whining 0
D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-douche!
FurrTrap 0
2 1/2 year? Mmmm, innovative...
sbarre1 0
Two and a half? You dumbass.
xavierdevoy 0
83 can suck my left nut
justdesserts 0
YDI for driving like a girl.
skyoolie 0
i hope you are paying for it to get fixed. but i want to know HOW you crashed it into a cement divider.. if you don't know how to drive the car, let her drive. i do kinda feel bad for you, but a cement divider? come on. i agree with 111, 6 months is the only 1/2 year i ever celebrate, then it goes by years, but an ex of mine liked to celebrate EVERY MONTH. so annoying. and 121, i happen to be a girl, and can drive pretty well thank you. and probably know more about cars and driving than most guys. could be my background, and ill admit a lot girls drive like crap, but please don't think that ALL of them suck.
um_duh 0
Recipe or it didn't happen!
ChefBoy6382 0
shouldnt matter, two and a half years isn't an achievement. you celebrate anniversary once a year.