Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

Today, it's my birthday, and my coworkers gave me a $75 gift card to a restaurant chain near my house. Later in the evening, I found out the chain of restaurants abruptly closed. All of them. FML

Today, it's my birthday and I had to work. My boss wished me a happy birthday, and then told me I was fired. FML

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

Friends and family

Today, it was my birthday. None of my family members wished me a happy birthday and neither did the 1,000+ "friends" I have on Facebook either. FML

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

Happy birthday!

Today, I told my friends that I’d cover dinner for my birthday. Five minutes later, my bank app hit me with a low-balance alert. Everyone had already picked their orders. FML

Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML