Money: Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from... - FML

By Micawber - 31/01/2011 13:55 - Denmark

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 413

You deserved it 3 466

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 155

By Milly - 23/05/2018 05:00

Today, it's my birthday, and my coworkers gave me a $75 gift card to a restaurant chain near my house. Later in the evening, I found out the chain of restaurants abruptly closed. All of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 898

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 07:00 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, it's my birthday and I had to work. My boss wished me a happy birthday, and then told me I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 086

You deserved it 149

By pale-suzie - 19/03/2014 12:28 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 036

You deserved it 4 309

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 152

Friends and family

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 09:59

Today, it was my birthday. None of my family members wished me a happy birthday and neither did the 1,000+ "friends" I have on Facebook either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 340

By carboncoach - 13/12/2013 17:24 - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 797

You deserved it 3 393

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 131

You deserved it 8 324

By Ondskansgris - 12/03/2009 09:59 - Sweden

Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 137

You deserved it 7 463

By anon - 04/12/2009 10:35 - Australia

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 184

You deserved it 2 725

Next

Top comments

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 31 January 2011 19:10

Well, either your account was too low or you did something else to get your account closed. They're just doing their job.

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 31 January 2011 19:05

Happy Birthday and that sucks :(

Comments

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 1 February 2011 5:43

poverty sux

lolbrick 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 7:12

I've never even had a bday party in my life.

perdix 29

Tuesday 1 February 2011 7:20

How does that go? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Micawber. Now take your 73 cents and get the **** outta here! PS: I'm not paying royalties to the estate of Mildred and Patty Hill. That was a parody and an example of Fair Use.

Jasmine143 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 8:24

Happy Birthday (:

Mistery510 6

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:05

yeah and I spent two of my birthdays alone... in Iraq.... quit crying

anma_fml 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:27

it's still your birthday...

dayummalyssa 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 2:36

mine too!!!! ;D

sherivengeance 3

Thursday 3 February 2011 15:01

happy birthday! sorry things aren't going that great for u ATM

yaknowiverse 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:50

no it's not. HAPPY FUCKEN BIRTHDAY

katiedoll6 7

Thursday 29 March 2012 23:02

Happy birthday from Ireland xxxxxxx

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Keywords

Video games Love Gamers Health Gross Weird First Dates Smells Technology Parents Annoying Kids Animals Dogs Jealousy AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 72

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 100

The Top

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 882

You deserved it 4 112

Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 355

You deserved it 4 195

Today, my so-called feminist daughter somehow found out I briefly worked as a prostitute when she was a teenager, and has stopped speaking to me. I haven’t the heart to tell her it was the only way I could afford to send her to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 343

Today, my dog-obsessed wife complained that we never have sex anymore. Call me crazy but constantly hearing her say how dogs are better than husbands, sleeping with three huge dogs in bed every night, and watching her shove her tongue in the dogs’ mouths doesn’t exactly whip me into a sexual frenzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 581

You deserved it 255

Today, my wife sent me a text expressing her "love and thinking to the future with you, Chad". Too bad my name isn't Chad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 867

You deserved it 257

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 404

You deserved it 8 206