Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML
Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
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Top comments
angelfaced59 0
haha that sounds like my mom haha
hahaiseeyou 0
you should have a little talk with your mother
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Comments (164)
JokeMeister 0
And that was YOUR MOM?! I know you're proud.
tayy__13 0
Bahaha you have a very nice Mom..(= FYl.
Cherrymamacita 0
Happy Birthday :) well... that was a nice 18th birthday gift lol jk
XxFallenbladexX 0
Not rly a happy birthday..I can't believe your mom flipped u the bird lol
summergrl11 0
halfway sounds like something my mom would do
xSarahBaabyx94 0
65- ha, never (:
orangecarrots 0
Happy Birthday :DD If that happened to me, I wouldn't stand for it, joking or not :(
cattongue 0
what story were you tellin your friends? o_O
Omnigeek6 1
Biggest bitch on the planet. Do not let her do shit let that ever again.
Shopaholic69137 0
what an immature and bitchy mom.