Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML
Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML
Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I put on a new shirt and headed out to a café to meet a friend. Halfway through our conversation, I noticed my cat had followed me into the café after somehow making a nest in my bag. I looked down to see her tail sticking out of my purse, wagging like she owned the place. She is tiny, but still… how she managed to stay hidden for more than 10 minutes is beyond me. FML
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
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Top comments
ollie179 21
Everyone must of thought you were cool. Carrying pussy in your bag...
Pleonasm 36
Well the cat's out of the bag now.
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Comments (244)
blkbttrfly 6
awww how is this FML? he's gotta be so cute when he doesn't know what he's done wrong and looks at your with big kitten eyes full of love.
naturalbadassnba 11
Aww thats so adorable. Cute evil little creature :)
cwjb99 9
Well its safe to say the cat loves you so much it has to be with you at all times
taylorseeey 6
Awwwwweeeeee
DarkJediLove 19
How is that an fml?! It would have made my week and probably everyone else around you too!
fmladdict82 1
This just made my day
ToBeFilledInLate 11
Cats are assholes lolz! But i them!
trills26 13
OMG! Too cute!! I have been very tempted to bring my three pound pup into school... Maybe I could say she just fell in my backpack and have her pop out mid lecture... Thanks for the plan!!
cartedor 18
Maybe do this during test and,exam, create distraction, so that you can cheat off to get better grades. Bet you can easily pull it off
sum42guy2k 6
Sounds a bit like my cat.... As a kitten he would be attacking all day AND night.
Aleinad 8
You probably made everyone's day :D I know I'd have loved if that happened in class!