Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML
Today, my brother is about to move to a new house, all because last week I played a prank on him. I made him believe that I crashed my car and had to sell his things to pay for the damage. He's no longer talking to me, or acknowledging me as a sibling anymore. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML
Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML
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Top comments
dagrathe 0
cool female bro.
ceatsouth 0
Just block your wall so he can't see it
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Comments (346)
pottymouthpanda 0
i think facebook lets you hide your status from some people, u can try that, idk bout comments tho.
Zepset_fml 13
You know you can hide things from people. Just press the lock, hit custom, pick specific people, and type his name into the "Hide from these people: " and just hit use as default. Problem solved. :D
Bless23 0
Did they say anything about Blocking? Block all your family members and tell them you deleted your facebook account and hide your profile from public search as well. That's what I did with mine.
WtffItzzChriis 0
cool story bro. tell it again sometime.
littlelia 22
Just make it so that ^^^he can't view your posts
Star_nolife 2
It's ur fault for adding them in the first place
blackwidowtaco 31
He probably had no choice as strict as the parents are.
sarahsrainbow 4
you could just hide him from viewing your posts - not Defriending him but he can't post?
kennedy98 2
Block him in every way except for removing, it's what I do to my parents haha
emag_eht 18
There's a little screw thing when you post statuses that allows you to only let certain people see your status or certain people to be blocked. Or you can make a second FB. Add all your old friends except your family. I think being grounded for deleting them would be so worth it.
matttheman25 8
Its ******* facebook. Just do it