Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I bought a Christmas tree and carried it up three flights of stairs alone. I finally got it inside, only to realize it was too tall. I tried trimming it, but now it’s crooked, shedding everywhere, and leaning like it gave up on life. I hope the greenish marks on the ceiling won't be permanent. FML
Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML
Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML
Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML
Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML
Today, I fell in a vent in our floor while decorating our Christmas tree. My husband removed the grates months ago to increase airflow. I fell in past my knee and he had to pull me out by the arms. It's been four days and I can still barely walk. My office is on a second floor... We don't have an elevator. FML
Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
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Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
You know, fake Christmas trees have removable branches...;) Think about it: when Christmas is over, you have a 24/7 stripper pole for your girlfriend to use.
wtfismyfml 0
less decorations to put up next year
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Comments (97)
CallMeHush 1
I predict Christmas in July in your future.
abearrr 0
that's what you get for dating someone who would glue their god damn christmas tree to the floor.
blastvortex 4
She succeeded, eh? So that was the plan all along? You speak a rather strange tale, OP. Oh, and if you're not too busy (and assuming none of the problem was your fault), you should take her presents back and buy her a panel saw as a replacement present. Buying a chainsaw, on the other hand, would be a big mistake - the impending Xmas massacre should say as much.
blumaster04 7
This is his girlfriend......Ya'll who are calling me dumb and blond are jerks. It's not my fault that the glue slid down the plastic xmas tree stand and got stuck on the carpet! Gosh people! I just cut the carpet and it was all better! Ya'll are so mean people! Truly, The "blond" Girlfriend
neverStopLaughin 0
But, now "Ya'll" have missing carpet.
null_fml 11
I never called you dumb or blonde, but it IS your fault. If glue was running down the side, you were using far too much of it.
Laurasian 0
That'd have to be a shit-ton of glue, sweetie....
terriibabiiix23 0
uhm no offense, but how is this an FML ?! seriously, WTF.
Phee4 0
There's no missing carpet shows what you know
blumaster04 7
yeah my gf is right, we cut it just perfect enough so that the carpet wasnt ruined... btw she got mad at me and slapped me because i posted this on here FML
null_fml 11
I support your decision to have posted this FML!
xzc426 0
Glued the tree to the floor? How much damned glue did she use? hmmm...I would find it difficult to accidentally glue a fake Christmas tree to the floor to the point I can't get it off.
LVgirl20 0
I wanna just like run full force at that tree and see if my tiny ass can knock it over or if the glue is so strong that it will just make me look like a tree hugger haha!
StealthStorm67 0
You should probably start working out.