Funnymann
United States
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Maidstone, United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML
Amy
Prince George, Canada
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Anonymous
Today, I woke up with a carpet burn. From sleeping. Alone. In my bed. FML
argh
Houston, United States
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
permanently scarred
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Girl-of-very-little-brain
Canada
Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
Bonk
United States
Self report
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
HomeAlone
United States
Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML
Hayleey_079
United Kingdom
Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML
Top comments
luvuall 0
It was Jigglypuff
susieKiute 0
paranormal activity?
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Comments (228)
junglepaani 0
anon delivers
lucifer69_fml 0
today, I woke up with a dick in my mouth. I live alone.......
Sirin_fml 47
Ahahaha, here, have an FML cookie for making me spray coffee over my monitor -_-"
MangaFreakXxX 0
You know, stories like this are found on MLIA too. It's weird. It's just how you take it. MLIA is more light hearted I guess ;p
cuteness69 0
I don't get it ! ):
dzerzhinsky 0
YDI for saying 'sharpied'
swiftyyy 0
ummm how does that happen?
perdix 31
Your mom should have flushed your drugs down the toilet!
beelerxo 0
well atleast your asshole doesn't hurt or does it? o.O
Boy_Flow 0
lol ya thats always the bright side
beelerxo 0
YDI for living alone...LONER!
ceceisgay 0
ydi for trying to make a MLIA into an FML.