Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, I thought I had fully patched up the hole in the wall near the stairs. I was proven wrong when I heard my cat screaming and hissing near it. The black cat who lives in my backyard decided to say hi, which my cat didn't take too kindly to. She absolutely whooped his ass. Not a fun thing to wake up to. FML
Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Ugh, this happened to me once. I was just robbing somebody's house and could hear them freaking out upstairs. Fortunately, I was wearing my fursuit, so they mistook me for their cat.
Miss_Chevious 37
Sounds like an FML for the police guys who showed up. Today, some idiot called us in thinking he was getting robbed. The 'noises' he heard was his cat. FML
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Comments (65)
Warmonger_Smurf 29
My God do you have a 200lbs cat?
jazzybaby179 22
Cats are assholes! & sorry about that scare Op!
olpally 33
Damn cats. Plotting to kill you most likely.
Parp 7
Nearly all of these "overreaction to a nocturnal noise" stories seem to emanate from the USA, which makes me wonder as to the state of their society. "Came home late, brother thought it MUST have been a burglar and belted me with a baseball bat." "Branch scraped side of house in midnight breeze, HAD to be an armed gang climbing in the window.." "Dog farted at 2am, OBVIOUSLY I thought it was a home invasion" What have you created for yourselves America? Your twitchy, paranoiac "assume the very worst, most violent, most gory horror movie" scenario mindset is creating the very thing you fear most.
legendairy3000 16
Shut up commy, I'll probably get banned for this seeing as the admins are the pussy French
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Hopefully these ******* are either just teenagers or dumbasses who make up shit to get posted. If I hear a noise in my house, I turn on the damn lights and go looking with my gun. God help them if I ever find someone.
katelng09 16
It's called being cautious. If I was home alone and heard noises, I would call the cops. There is no problem with being scared.
SixthSinEnvy 39
A statement like this makes me wonder where YOU live. Living alone and hearing movement in your house in the middle of the night doesn't faze you? No offense but that sounds like we'll be seeing you as a home invasion victim on CNN soon.
Badkarma4u 17
Exactly that and most of the posters are young. When have kids you cant afford to be so twitchy. You have to be the one to explain to them that things that go bump in the night are not the boogeyman.
Bibliovore 26
#39, having a cat (or dog, or other active housepet) isn't quite "living alone" when it comes to middle-of-the-night noises. Now, if you can see your pet and are still hearing unexplained noises, or if you hear voices, it may be time for concern. But in a great many places in the US (and elsewhere), home invasion is not the first assumption or anywhere near the most likely cause of strange noises. My weirdest overnight awakening was because raccoons were mating on the roof.
Adam_Power58 16
Ah maybe you could have remembered about your cat they are always doing things like that !
GAeroNKissR 26
If you're a child, I'll let that slide. but if an adult - that's pathetic. Grow up.
photographer49 22
#19 It's not childish at all to be afraid of a threat like that. You never know what's there and it's better that OP called and it being a mistake then not calling and there actually being someone potentially dangerous in the house.
moocowmilk0 19
what was the cat doing that was so frightening?
gobiteme2 34
Waiting on the fireplace mantel waiting to pounce.
EarlFug 19
You own a cat and called police because it made noise. You'll have to convince me you're not an idiot, or a Kardashian.
PePziNL 20
Those are the same thing.
MariaGiovanni 25
I know you might be felt silly but you did the right thing. better safe than dead...or however the saying goes.
zarrganaut 17
You should have known better when owning a cat. :p