Transportation: Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons...

By CB4 - 05/02/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 635

You deserved it 2 451

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Same thing different taste

Trash

By GuiltByTenuousAssociation - 01/03/2010 13:17 - United States

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 414

You deserved it 2 826

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 845

You deserved it 56 770

By Mel Hahn - 17/09/2017 16:00

Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 705

You deserved it 278

By gkline09 - 06/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 086

You deserved it 3 083

By FuckedByLife - 12/02/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Bridgend

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 918

You deserved it 559

By rplovez - 05/09/2011 23:14 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 4 019

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 389

You deserved it 4 257

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 124

My dear neighbor

By Anonymous - 22/02/2020 18:00

Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 282

You deserved it 131

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 327

You deserved it 4 844

myname_fml 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 11:20

How do you know the poster isn't a female? Plus, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin in college. Just saying.

LemonLolly 10

Friday 21 December 2012 0:25

You don't have to be a non-virgin to be a cheater

Comments

H3ALTHFR3AK 0

Friday 12 November 2010 10:12

hah, well now no one will think ur a virgin, grats

vietmanx 10

Monday 18 April 2011 9:12

pay attention

ballwiz24 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:40

maybe she didn't want to get arrested...

moo117 0

Friday 24 June 2011 19:39

go talk to the dude and tell him x gf that you need to be carefull and ask her to help clean it up

lurveu_mysweet_t 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 3:31

at least it wasn't buttered! that shit is impossible to get off!:(

rockinbecca2 4

Saturday 29 October 2011 17:07

Don't comment if u don't know wat actually happened

nava1210 12

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:40

*Happened & *You're

nava1210 12

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:45

Oops.. *decide & *what's

briannajm 9

Friday 20 January 2012 10:27

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

guycode 0

Monday 18 June 2012 17:03

Why are you a virgin I **** every day

Keywords

Awkward Health Motherhood Transportation Money Lonely Dentist Sadness Work Abuse Nepotism Relatable Ironic Miscellaneous Birthday Parents Food AITA Intimacy Sex Virginity Love Mental health OCD Cute Cleaning Housework Creepy Kids Argument

The Top

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 94

Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 527

You deserved it 41 953

Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 077

You deserved it 40 513

Today, my partner heard the cat about to puke and shoved her off the bed. I found this out in the morning. With my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 544

You deserved it 254

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 911

You deserved it 4 615

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 525

You deserved it 4 393

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 182

You deserved it 20 262