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Guycode's favorite FMLs

By unicorn - 13/09/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

agreeclassic 33 753

vote type 1 12 916

By Anonymous - 11/02/2011 18:15 - United States

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

agreeclassic 32 876

vote type 1 3 833

By muffincakess - 21/01/2010 00:55 - France

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

agreeclassic 9 945

vote type 1 37 085

By CrapFeet - 11/12/2009 14:11 - Malaysia

Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML

agreeclassic 33 404

vote type 1 6 603

CrapFeet app_comment_confession_title

CrapFeet 0

Saturday 12 December 2009 18:35

OP here. Well of course I cleaned it up before typing, any idiot would do that. FYI, yes I did deserve it because I would normally remove all personal belongings before leaving but for this once, I left my shirt on the hook behind the door because I was rushing for time and I just showered so I needed time to fix my hair, wear my contacts etc before leaving and I simply forgot to take it :( The stench wasn't there, no idea why. Need details? lol ok, maybe because the outer part of the turd hardened, leaving the inner part slightly soft and moist, thus 'locking' the smell in perhaps? And yes, I did clean the friggin wall..the bathroom was shared between me and two other girls. I know the girls won't clean it, so...

By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

agreeclassic 12 781

vote type 1 80 966