Love: Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give...

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 917

You deserved it 2 383

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Brittany - 23/12/2012 02:33 - United States

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 647

You deserved it 3 515

Diaspora

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:02 - United States

Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 191

Dude…

By Nothanksimdone - 09/07/2021 15:59

Today, I received a new like on a dating site… from my extremely creepy second cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 82

Lost again

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 20:00

Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 797

You deserved it 180

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 822

You deserved it 2 776

By ollie - 26/09/2018 13:30

Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 4 363

Love is love

By o___O" - 10/05/2013 20:11 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 100

You deserved it 4 756

By fuck you right back, cockspit - 14/02/2014 21:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 655

You deserved it 8 319

By Denki - 30/01/2013 12:21 - China - Beijing

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 4 513

Get out of there, fast

By LeaveMeAlone - 23/02/2021 22:56

Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 125

jupiter7 4

Wednesday 13 June 2012 5:35

Well you are from Texas.

ColdplaySucks 18

Wednesday 13 June 2012 5:35

Cousin marriage: never will understand why the hell people like it.

Comments

LuckyLynx7732 5

Wednesday 13 June 2012 12:18

FYL indeed. But if you do decide to go with it, be prepared for flipper babies.

blanccamaro74 6

Wednesday 13 June 2012 12:28

I'm sorry u must have selected the wrong state this could only happen in Arkansas

Cowboy1986 4

Wednesday 13 June 2012 12:35

Awww come on you can do one better than Jerry lee Lewis he married his third cousin!! Play for keeps

Chandler1Bing 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 14:06

Welcome to Kentucky!

thetoxiclion 4

Wednesday 13 June 2012 14:20

Sooo is he hot?

pink_cupcakes01 6

Wednesday 13 June 2012 14:33

No offense, they put this up but not the same post about my first cousin? I understand what you're going through!

snafu63 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 15:40

it's 1st cousins you have to worry about, boning your 2nd cousin is just fine.

chasec23 4

Wednesday 13 June 2012 16:21

Is that legal?

uglycrow 5

Wednesday 13 June 2012 17:28

Closer kin, deeper in! Bahahahaha!

TrippingOnAcid 29

Wednesday 13 June 2012 17:29

Nothing overly wrong about second-cousins

Keywords

Gamers Love Video games Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 381

You deserved it 4 153

Today, I’m coming to accept that my wife’s relationship with her phone and her social media is deeper and more intimate than it will ever be with me. I can’t afford to leave her, her sister's a lawyer, she’ll take everything I still love in the divorce. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 110

The Top

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 163

You deserved it 1 996

Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 709

You deserved it 4 154

Today, my husband kindly offered to take me on a brewery tour. Turned out the brewery is owned by his ex-girlfriend and there was no tour after all. Just me standing awkwardly for 25 minutes while he chatted to her about her family and stuff they used to do together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 818

You deserved it 1 056

Easy living isn't always easy...

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 189

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 445

You deserved it 54 337

Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date, and after travelling 12000 km by plane to see the cherry blossoms in bloom in Japan, I learned that this year, they bloomed 10 days earlier than expected. And to top it off, it turns out I’m allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629