Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I was staying at my friend's house, which is next door. Our houses are the same layout, only mirrored, so tonight when I got out of bed in the dark, I instinctively turned to my left, thinking I was entering the bathroom, and fell down the stairs. Three of my teeth are missing. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML
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Top comments
DoomJeff91 2
Well now you know what you want for Christmas.
oopsiess 0
How? Did you take like 6 of them?
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Comments (53)
gummibehrs 4
Danzig got told. xD I agree, though, your hostility is really unnecessary. I wouldn't appreciate being called a liar, either.
danzigPO_1939 0
skepticism =/= hostility. I have no reason to believe her story, or even that she is, in fact, the OP. Most of you are being a lot more hostile than I ever was--I don't remember calling anyone a bitch or a fuckhead. That's uncalled for, sorry for not believing every story I read on the internet, I had no idea I was displaying so vile a character flaw...
mushrooms_fml 0
Actually, you were being unnecessarily hostile in your skepticism. You didn't just express doubt, you basically called her a liar. I agree with the others.
sengmengida 0
Today, som chick passed out for 16-20 hours in Texas, and I was on the wrong continent. FML
Witchcraft_fml 5
XD
brunettesara5722 17
what sleeping pill is that!
GoPro2Oh 0
Sounds like you slept like a baby
icet1997 0
all you want for Christmas is your two front teeth.
Bcfrmkc816 17
You must have really been burning the candle at both ends and it finally caught up with you hope you didn't lose your job
babebeegurl95 7
What kind of pill was it?!?