Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
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Top comments
PandaPi 0
Check if your wang is still there!!!!!!
Accept 11
No, that's not creepy at all. o.o (Sarcasm)
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Comments (219)
kenoswild 14
next thing you know, there will be blood slowly going down the shower drain.......*whistling Psycho theme*
pseudolife 4
She's a psycho! Get out of that relationship ASAP before someone gets hurt. She sounds messed up in the head. If you continue to prolong the relationship she's going to get more attached to you so if you decide to break up with her for one reason or another she may try to physically hurt you or herself.
Stoppajamatime 0
Most probably this was a joke. She probably thought the OP was gonna wake up sooner or later, and she decided to creep him out. She probably meant no physical harm. I highly doubt she's gonna be the next Aileen Wuornos.
mamak_fml 0
I totally agree. While she may have been trying to be funny, she missed the mark by a long shot. Her behavior is not only scary but dangerous. GET OUT NOW!
Stoppajamatime 0
This whole time I imagined her doing a creeper smile and holding a knife above his face. Read again, it said she was staring. But in the end, she giggled. It wasn't like she was stuttering, trying to explain to the OP what was going on. Yes, it was stupid of her to hold the knife OVER his FACE. She could've dropped it and OP should've warned her. The joke could've been done more safely. Like standing by the door with a knife and a creeper smile instead of, as said before, over his face.
KnucklesDeep 5
Run. Now. And fast.
lalalovebiancaa 0
Lmao wtf, I've been watching a lot of Dexter lately, soooo RUN !!!!!!!!!!! D:
bizarre_ftw 22
Says the guy with That picture?
jobsman99 0
creepy and weird. be careful. I do hope though she was naked.
Senior29 8
was she just messin with u or did u catch her in the act?
Senior29 8
was she just messin with u or did u catch her in the act?
Legendslayer222 26
So? This is how every morning starts. ...Wait, that is normal, right?
XI3NC3 2
Not sure IF that's really An Fml moment. More of a MMT moment. Just sayin'