By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 04:58 - United States

Today, I woke up and realized I'd experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I'm a 24 year-old guy who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 358
You deserved it 3 090

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Top comments

vrock 0

Wow, its bitches like you that make me love my girlfriend

Is your "BF", by any chance, the hamster in your profile picture?


yur wife must be a realll catch btw #1

YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID "WET DREAM" FFS you made me search in google....

Enoch134 0

lol and me to m8

hhahahahahha I was about to google too

jrkarikas 0

got my 1st wet dream at 11. started jizzing at 12. ur wife is probably unsatisfied.

I had only one wet dreamsnd I was thirteen, started jizzing at 10 :p

hahaha I was just about to google it too then I was like "hey, somebody probably commented wat it means" lol


Wtf bit young don't ya think???

OMG same here I was about to look it up and was like nah someone already would have! HA!

gecko13 0

-90day annullment...

wow! I can relate, newly wed, 24, and have my 3rd nocturnal emission in the last 6 months! I never had on in my life before living with the new wife.. fml too!

ydi for not eating watermelon

and how was it?

Can't believe!

I think she is hot and your brain is trying to tell you something! Have sex with her whenever you can!

Whats a nocturnal emission?

blland 0

night jizz, sleep cum, wet dream... I just repeated myself and what I'm saying is redundant.

perdix 29

Are you on Ambien or something? Were you standing over her sleepwanking when you had this supposed "nocturnal emission?" And duck2121, this is the Internet -- here, we answer our own questions about general information. Learn to Google (or, God forbid, Bing). You'll be better for it.


^and yet you didn't even reply to his comment... Perdix, I usually don't google anything when I'm reading FML because I'm a teenager and lazy. Besides, someone always comments saying the definition or meaning of the phrase/word I'm questioning. ;D

I can't belive it...

boohoo you aren't getting laid. grow up. if you thought marriage meant unlimited sex, be ready to become disappointed. maybe shits going on with her body or something, or maybe she just isn't in the mood because you aren't putting any effort into it. you want us women to fuck you, do something other than strip and be like okay your turn and be lazy throughout the process. kthx :)

BoWZeR 1

u probably don't get any cuz ur fucking ugly

Woah calm down :|

vrock 0

Wow, its bitches like you that make me love my girlfriend

Someone pissed in her cornflakes

JacksBBQ 2

Settle down, crazy.

You make it sound like your sex life is nearly non-existant if existant at all.

Fucking feminists...