Valentine's slay, Broken and Health: Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off,...

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:09 - United States

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 897

You deserved it 2 952

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 137

You deserved it 2 817

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 92

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 765

You deserved it 6 742

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 873

You deserved it 3 266

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 470

You deserved it 5 802

Geyser

By Ouch - 15/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 611

You deserved it 11 127

By sickofsick - 30/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 653

You deserved it 3 978

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 199

You deserved it 2 766

By Rayvyn - 21/10/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 879

You deserved it 7 369

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:12

I got the magic in me. Every time I sneeze, I shit violently. Magic, magic, magiiic. Magic, magic, magiiic.

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:21

Darling, if it was coming from both ends, it was probably food poisoning. Don't quote me on that though, I'm just speaking from experience.

Comments

suzy_q_9 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 19:00

omg! i about had the exact same situation happen to me. Except instead of having diarrhea and vomiting, i had diarrhea and the h1n1.

bran_d1986 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 20:08

2 words. Adult. Diapers. fyl

Fmlmaster14 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:27

well you werent the only one. /:

cbarker7 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 3:15

I had the same thing, except on my birthday a couple weeks ago. I was told it's noro irus and seems to be going around. Make sure to disinfect everyhing because you can reinfect yourself! Good luck.

greentea1242 3

Wednesday 16 February 2011 4:24

I was horribly sick valentines day too :/

crazysoccer 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 5:23

maybe learn how to spell diarrhoea too? haha

dbt88 15

Wednesday 16 February 2011 10:17

. . . OP's from Wisconsin which uses Americanized English. It is spelled correctly. I don't know how anyone else says it, but everyone around here pronounces it just like it's spelled, too - not as "oe."

dbt88 15

Wednesday 16 February 2011 10:19

Unless of course I missed it and it was spelled incorrectly before and changed. Nevermind if that is the case.

blink831forever 13

Wednesday 16 February 2011 6:14

That sucks OP. I'm sorry.

sensboltsfan84 4

Wednesday 16 February 2011 22:36

I feel bad for you. I spent Valentines last year sick, so I know how you feel. We spent 3 nights in a romantic hotel, with me running to the bathroom every half hour. I feel your pain :(