Today, I went to Uni. I woke up at six and got to the station as the train was leaving. I was congratulating myself on my brilliant skill when, as we passed the carpark, I saw I had left my headlights on. It later cost more for the lead to jump start my car than it would have to drive to Uni myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left my lights on in my car, which I only realized at lunchtime, so I made sure to turn the lights off, and tried to start it. The battery was dead, so I called my dad to jump start it before I got back from my game. I later came back from the game and the lights were on. He'd left the lights on after jump starting it. FML
Today, my car broke down on my way home from university. I tried calling for help, only to realise my phone had completely run out of charge. Luckily, I had passed a police station so I decided to walk the 10 minutes down the road to ask for a phone. When I got there, the station was closed. FML
Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML
Today, I drove my car to work as I had some errands to do after, even though I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML
Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML
Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML
Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML
Today, I missed my University entrance exam because of heavy traffic. I was stuck at one intersection for over an hour. The real kicker? It took me less than 10 minutes to drive home. FML
Today, I couldn't see my car in a crowded car park. I pressed unlock on my keys and saw the lights flash. As I walked over I also saw someone run from my car with an armful of my stuff. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pandemic_fml 0
Stories like these make me glad my car's lights automatically turn off. :D On the other hand, OP, a good set of jumper cables is something you should always have anyway.
NatzSwifey 0
jumper leads r cheap and u should have a set in ur car anyway
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
Invioletlight 0
It's university, not uni, please! it's a post-secondary education not a guy with one nut!
Snow_Daisy 7
bahahaha nice.
Bseic 0
It's 'tertiary', not 'post-secondary'... Please!
NicholasShreds 0
@ #47 - You're such a douche bag. Why do you feel the incentive to constantly correct people? Let it be. This is a forum, not a writing exam. Anyways, sorry but I think YDI for not having the jumper cables handy. Common sense.
deadsrs 0
Burn
Eddie_Paints 0
YDI for leaving your lights on!
ringmybell_fml 0
i keep thinking that says "too bad you kept your tights on!" ftw, ik.
bffmandc1 0
What the hell is Uni? Seriously, we are not all from from new zeland! Lik is Uni a store or carnival or somethin out there? someone said it meant university. Y couldn't u jus include "the" or spell out "university"?! it's not lik u were runnin out of characters. that's y u aren't goin to get many votes, ppl don't know what u r talkin about! I'm actually not even surpised that u forgot to turn off ur lights!
muserule99 0
Calm down. They say Uni all over the world. If u don't know and it really makes u stamp your little feet in anger then look it up.
Snazaza 0
Im pretty sure everyone but you knew he was saying University :/
Diannaa 0
There's limited space to type FML's, abbreviating might have kept him from going over the character limit.
Bseic 0
Is this kid joking?
yottskry 0
Apparently only you don't know what she's talking about.
krnmafia92 0
pedantic, every time I see you post, there seems to always be some interesting debate. I also tend to correct people when they try to correct someone else and make errors. Likewise, I will correct you here: rather than "an idiot," it should be "idiots."
tb15 0
lmao
bffmandc1 0
By sayin "I went to Uni", she is using it as a proper noun. Therefore she is making it the name of something! By sayin that "I went to THE Uni" completely changes how it can be read and interpted... MF look up Uni urself! there r a ton of definitions!! Sorry that I know what u should have learned in lik 1st grade... how to use a noun correctly!
mzhonesty 0
Everyone and their great grandma knew what the OP was talking about except for you, dumbass, so don't try to belittle anyone here when you're too stupid to use the little brains you have to figure out what the OP meant. When you learn how to spell out the words "you," "your," "are," "people," "yourself," "like," and "why," THEN you can start talking shit about someone else not spelling out a word. Until then, shut the **** up.
Bseic 0
Thankyou for typing that response for me, I wholeheartedly agree. You also saved my thumbs from a lot of work as I'm on my phone. If there was a 'rep' system, there would definitely be some love coming from my direction. Cheers.
mzhonesty 0
You're most welcome. :)
jonny2x4 0
@#30, better not let snickerdoodles catch you stealing her act. There's only room for one grammar nazi here.
anonymous496 0
How the **** should we know what a uni is? It's bad enough the foreigners refer to it as university in the first place now they abbreviate it and expect re rest of us to understand it. Then they call jumper cables leads.
eat_this_buddie 5
that sucks. I bet you couldn't concentrate at your "uni" huh?
n00bowner 0
idk what a uni is so YDI
kaijapapaya 0
Really? You're going to call them an idiot because they don't know what uni means?? That's super mature...
DreamerofWorlds 0
I'm actually gonna agree with pendatic. Even if you couldn't figure out what the OP meant by just reading it, if 44 would have just read a few comments, he/she would have known. 44's lack of knowledge is his own fault, so yes, I would say he/she is an idiot.
Malinkrot 3
Obsessively correcting people and trying to gain a sad sense of superiority on the comment section of a humor website = really pathetic. This is a sad new generation of lonely and useless people with no social skills or but plenty of free time. I guess the people that think using perfect grammar and spelling on FML are the ones whose lives ARE this website - they seem to spend all their time here. It's easy to appear intelligent on the internet, where Google, dictionaries and thesaurases are a click away. Correcting people on FML doesn't make you smart, sorry.
kaijapapaya 0
Even the comments refer to it as uni, not university. She would have had to read almost all the posts to get it. I had never heard the term uni before the post so I don't blame her. I don't mean to correct pendatic. I just think it was a little harsh to say she was idiotic. Ignorant maybe?
kaijapapaya 0
Totally agree with you that the wording was bad.
ItecKid 0
Ugh OP I know how you feel, I use to do that all the time. (sun would rise during my commute so I'd forget to turn my lights off.) But still, it's kind of a YDI for not carrying jumper cables...or asking if anyone else in the car park had jumper cables to help you out...
samuelmartin 0
i thought he ment unicycle!
n00bowner 0
Win
cygnusx1991 0
What is it with either stupid or pretentious people that somehow makes them unable to say "I'm going to THE university" or I attend THE university? These are the same people that end up "in hospital", and with good reason. How do they get into what are supposed to be institutions of higher knowledge and achievement??
unpossible 26
So, I guess you go to THE school too and attend THE classes there. Sometimes a definite article is unnecessary. It's neither stupid nor pretentious, it's just how the language works.
nzl_fml 0
seriously? ^ everyone just says uni. only pretentious twats say university. and no-one ever says "the" university. that's just weird.
cygnusx1991 0
How is calling the place in question what it actually is, with proper grammar, pretentious at all? Nice attempt at insulting me and trying to seem smart but it had no substance at all.
cygnusx1991 0
You could just call it college as well, same damn thing. ydi for not having jumper cables.
unpossible 26
I think you mean "the" college. :P
bubblz 0
Everyone in NZ calls it "Uni", that's just our slang. Seriously, even the professors call it Uni. And saying "I went to the university" does sound very strange. I don't care if it's grammatically correct. Maybe the OP should have made herself more clear, but she probably didn't even think that other people wouldn't understand what she meant. I didn't realise that Americans are the only people in the world that are allowed to have their own slang which nobody else understands.
krnmafia92 0
Stop trying to argue against a non-existing comment. No one said that slang was limited to U.S. English. All cyg was trying to say was that nzl was being an idiot for crapping on actual words. What nzl said could be equivalent as saying that anyone saying "going to" rather than "gonna" is pretentious.
nzl_fml 0
no, i was trying saying that if you said I'm going to "the university" in NZ you would sound like a pretentious twat. rolls eyes.
nzl_fml 0
No, college in NZ means secondary school.