Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was paying for groceries when the cashier asked if I wanted cash back. I said yes and handed over my card. She stared at me and said, “You're using a library card.” I'd pulled the wrong card out of my wallet. FML
Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML
Today, I found out that someone found my lost library card, and instead of returning it, took out multiple items. If they don't return them, I'm on the hook to paying over $100 for them. FML
Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML
Today, I finally got my ass into gear and went to the DMV to renew my driver's license. I waited in line for over two hours, only to find out that I had brought my library card instead of my license. FML
Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML
Today, I learned I have over $10,000 in debt, despite never owning a credit card. Apparently, my ex-roommate had been replying to the credit card offers I was receiving in the mail. That also explains my missing driver's license a few months back. FML
Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML
Today, I rushed from work so I could get to the library to return a book that was due. The library closes at 7:00 p.m. I arrived at 6:56, huffing and puffing. The lady saw me, slammed the door in my face, and locked it. I now have to pay a late fee for 4 minutes. FML
Today, I got a letter from the IRS informing me that I owed a debt of $80 dollars from 4 years ago, and that it has now grown to over $800 dollars, and it's due this month. FML
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Top comments
tomal0 6
Did you forget to return "Everybody Poops?"
Stazza11 27
Kudos to you, I couldn't even shit properly at that age and you were a hardcore book nerd!
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Comments (58)
magikarpsmurfs 19
Time travel perhaps?
beaverteaser 16
Yea was gonna do a back to the future pun
krakalacka 14
I'm a librarian and see this type of stuff all the time. Most the time either the parent signed them for the card when they were young, or there is a mistake made on the account that is bringing it up with this person. Just talk to the supervisor or branch manager, they will work with you If you work with them.
seemetrot_fml 16
You would think they would be more understanding.
worldclassrager 41
Possible name mix up? Otherwise it looks like you'll have to go to another library
sprints54 19
Those fines on late doctor Seuss ad up huh
katebond 16
oh my gosh! reincarnation!!!
PresidentNorth 16
There's dumb and then there's you.
kaytasha 18
Wow, i think you are one of those genius Four year olds with extraordinary high IQ's, who were always at the library engrossed in books.
RedPillSucks 33
Might want to make sure someone hasn't stolen your identity
ceelos97 16
I guess that wasn't your first time in the public library
PotatoUnicorn 8
Since when did all this reading become so cool
amisenho 11
Reading was once a privilege of royalty and the higher class. Think of it as sampling from a tarnished silver spoon. It's still cool and classy. On the other hand, with electronic books and ease of portability, reading is beginning to make a comeback with people that can afford those electronics.
chinaski7628 32
What a dreary life it would be without books.