Miscellaneous: Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner....

By Anonymous - 08/09/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 8 014

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Same thing different taste

Food poisoning is back on the menu!

By James - 06/05/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, whilst on a road trip with friends, we stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. I ordered a chicken sandwich and when it arrived, I took a huge bite out of it, only to realize that it was still completely raw in the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 95

By Sam - 24/06/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 930

You deserved it 4 892

By Username - 13/11/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 932

You deserved it 7 613

Tasty

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 744

You deserved it 9 820

By stephiexbabexx - 15/01/2010 21:27 - United States

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 822

You deserved it 39 455

Tasty!

By Anonymous - 25/02/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 3 680

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 251

By blegh - 16/01/2009 04:57 - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 841

You deserved it 6 259

By cherknobil - 07/07/2019 00:00

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 200

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 593

Keyman1212 14

Friday 9 September 2011 1:41

Dip spit smells terrible. You should have noticed.

Broc831 6

Friday 9 September 2011 1:42

I think I threw up a little in my mouth... that sucks!

Comments

xbrandimichellex 5

Friday 9 September 2011 8:29

I've done that before...at least it was from my own spit cup though lol

PinkFun1969 9

Friday 9 September 2011 8:38

get your shots updated

MrJojobinks 6

Friday 9 September 2011 9:00

I almost threw up reading that.

baconstripslover 8

Friday 9 September 2011 9:34

Eeeewwwwwww that must have sucked. Did you spit it out all over your wheel and dashboard or did you swallow it?

denvan 0

Friday 9 September 2011 11:08

In N Out

SxeDaze 13

Friday 9 September 2011 11:28

was it all thick like syrup :D , no just playing , truly FYL thats just wrong .

Nemmycakes 3

Friday 9 September 2011 13:14

Yes I'm sure he knows dipping ***** your mouth, and what an original south joke, I've never heard that one before.

Technoir 2

Friday 9 September 2011 15:25

Dipping, chewing and smoking are all ******* disgusting. Why would you let some drooling redneck dipper in your car in the first place?

crabbyapple 2

Friday 9 September 2011 16:07

That used to happen to me when I was little, I would grab a soda and try to chug it, then realize it was full of chewing tobacco.

hunnibunnz 13

Friday 9 September 2011 17:03

couldn't you tell immediately since the cup wasnt cold?! if not, you deserved it.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Weird Health Scary Stressed out Parents Embarrassing Transportation Cars Work Love My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Facebook Social Media Virginity Intimacy Sex Painful School Tinder Awkward Dating Coworkers AITA Jealousy Anxiety

The Top

Today, my friends-with-benefits asked me if the girl who just added me on Facebook and Instagram is someone new I’m talking to, all within hours of this new friend adding me on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 352

Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 423

You deserved it 13 435

Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 396

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 4 128

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 286

You deserved it 5 289

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 258

Today, my cat used his expensive new bed for the first time since he got it last month. He used it as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 991

You deserved it 1 280