By kelly.duggan - 21/04/2014 04:03 - Canada - Carleton Place

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 667
You deserved it 11 830

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Well if that's what it takes to prove to him it's his, I'd say do it. It's hard being a single mom.

Well unless you gave him a reason to think otherwise, guy sounds pretty immature. If you can have sex you should know the consequences of it also

Comments

Perfectly acceptable request on his part. I had a friend who was 100% adamant she knew who the father of her child was based on dates she was given from her dating scan (yes, she made the mistake of rebounding from one relationship to another and didn't use protection) but it completely ruled out the first guy as the dad. His family insisted on a DNA test anyway and everyone was shocked when it was his, so even the most certain mother can be wrong about her child's paternity, no man should take an ex's word for it that he is the father of her child, clearly they are an ex for a reason so trust etc is likely to be questionable.

PassiveAggresive 12

Great comment. The ending is exactly what I had in mind.

@32 I see that you live in Canada, as do I, as does OP. Ultrasounds, prenatal checkups (but not prenatal meds, you need your own insurance for that) are free in Canada for Canadian citizens, also giving birth if you're a Canadian citizen is free (unless you want a private room, a tv and stuff like that). If you have a valid health card you're pretty much set here...so in terms of the things you're saying her ex isn't chipping in for...well...they're pretty much cost free. He should pay for the DNA test though, no doubt.

I can't even get an invite to an ultrasound to see my daughter. And all I want is to be in her life. All I know is she's being born in June...

Are you going to get a DNA test? If you are the father, you have every right to be there too. I hope you get to see the birth of your child.

I'm sure I won't be there for her birth if she won't tell me when the ultrasounds are. She does send me a pic of her now and then though.

Fight for your rights. Good chance you at least get to be part of her life in some way vs having to rely on your ex for when she feels like giving you some information. And if I was your daughter and later found out you really tried to see me it would mean a lot.

You can go through the courts and force her to give you visitation if a court ordered DNA test confirms you are the father. That's how my friend found out his daughter wasn't really his daughter after all.

doraaa01 7

I would definitely take it to court. Especially if she decided to be awful and go for child support without you being aloud visit. You have just as much right being the father as she does as this baby is half of you !

Sounds like you need a conversation about where your daughter is being born etc. You have a right if the baby is yours. If she won't tell you... Refuse child support and let her know as well as a court that it's not right to ask for child support for a baby you haven't seen, weren't allowed at the birth and further have had little to no contact. You will win visitation and she will have to cooperate. You just have to hit her where it hurts... Straight in the pocket. (Assuming she is asking for child support)

He is your ex so I can understand why he would want proof. He has no way if knowing if you were or weren't with anyone else depending how long you have been separated.

Axel5238 29

Very true, he doesn't or maybe does know what she was up to after and wants to be sure. Despite best intentions lots use condoms because they want to be protected and aren't ready to have kids and end up having kids anyway. If it's been a bit since the break up I'd be skeptical as well. Some people are in love with the idea of having a kid, but aren't nearly ready for the responsibility. OP's bf may not make enough to also cover child support.

Scynistr 20

Call me crazy.. But I believe DNA tests should be covered by insurance and should be mandatory for every child.. Just a precaution. That way men who aren't actually the father of a child don't have to pay for child support. I just think it makes sense so no one can abuse child support.

I agree that it should be covered by insurance if wanted, but I don't think it should be mandatory. If a couple BOTH decide they don't want a DNA test, I feel it's within their personal freedom to choose for themselves. They both know people lie, and if they choose to trust each other that's up to them, not the government. However if even one of them wants a DNA test, then I think it should be mandatory and insured. Because as you said, no dude should be forced to pay for a kid they aren't even sure is theirs :)

"DNA Test" is technically 4 words. He threw some real effort into that text.

showmeyourears 19

Actually three: deoxyribonucleic acid test.

But what if the child turns out to be his? He'd have wasted all that time rejecting his own child. He should at least care how the baby is.

PassiveAggresive 12

And if he finds out that the father isn't him but his ex's jerk friend, then he saved his own time caring for a child from his cheating ex.