Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML
Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my friends when I saw my ex. I instinctively tried to hide by quickly turning around and walking into a store. It was a mirror. I walked straight into my own reflection. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy and we decided to go see a movie. As we were walking in, I saw my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend. I tried to avoid them, but my left heel got caught in a crack in the pavement and I fell face-first onto the ground. My ex and his girlfriend saw me, laughed, and walked off. FML
Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML
Today, I ran into my ex at the supermarket. Trying to seem nonchalant, I attempted to make small talk while pushing my cart. I didn't notice that I was steering straight into a tower of canned goods until it was too late. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I went out with my best girl friend to spice up my wardrobe. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, who was constantly flip-flopping from being in love with me to being apathetic towards me. After having a great day, on the way home, my ex pulled up next to our car and I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML
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Top comments
WeezyBites 6
Way to dampen the mood.
gleniatorixx 5
Like a boss.
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Comments (176)
v4extreme 6
1 had a good point, this was not worded very clearly. Everyone is so sure they're right but if you read the fml carefully you'll see there's no way to know for sure who it was from the way it's written. The first time I read it I thought it was the grandfather, which is a reasonable conclusion because lots of fmls are about being embarrassed by jerk family members.
boredblonde 17
that just...sucks
inpuredeceit 14
You must have had to lean pretty far to fall on your face that easily.
asoke 8
My thoughts exactly!
Daralea 21
If he saw her lunge herself at him I don't blame him for moving out of the way.
Penn2894 6
Uh... just because he helped you with your bags doesn't mean that he should accept/return your hug, ex or not. I understand you're still crazy about him, but he might've been creeped out by that.
JayAyyEmm 0
Least he helped you.
OfficeNinja 5
sounds like your ex is an asshole to me.
mserrato 8
What a dick
Slice_of_Life_fml 0
Hopefully now it'll be easier getting over him.
Sirin_fml 47
The meaning of the FML is clear enough, but you're right; it is badly written and redundant, so I've cleaned it up a bit, just in case anyone wonders what the hell everyone was talking about.
liamcumby 4
There is no mention of her grampa.....