Love: Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the... - FML

By hannaholic - 03/07/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 518

You deserved it 4 911

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 4 125

By Lori - 04/11/2015 18:46 - United States - Littleton

Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date, he started talking about his wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 768

You deserved it 1 984

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 907

You deserved it 206

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 181

You deserved it 7 939

Unlucky in love

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 10:00 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, it was supposed to be my first date with a girl I've been speaking to for three months. Last night, she revealed that she's still married, that her husband is "not so bad", and then confessed it all to him and blocked me. It was gonna be my first date in six years, after the last one stalked me across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 131

Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 127

Bad omen

By DefiantBaka - 21/05/2022 08:00 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I found out the man I have a date with next week is married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 111

By FriendZone - 03/03/2017 16:00 - United States - Abington

Today, after what I thought was several weeks of flirting with a coworker, I asked her out on a date. She asked if it could be a double date, and I said yes. I brought a friend, she brought her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 788

You deserved it 2 033

By OMFG I LOVE MLP - 24/08/2012 21:00 - Germany - Mainz

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 928

You deserved it 3 793

The hell that is dating

By Laura - 15/07/2023 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He told me his wife had filed for divorce this morning (I had no idea he had ever been married) and then he sent me the e-receipt for my nachos along with his Venmo handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 134

Next

Top comments

darkmis1 17

Friday 3 July 2009 16:04

Tell his wife-she deserves to know her husbands a cheating creep.

Sevenfold 0

Friday 3 July 2009 16:02

Ouch.

Comments

Kate5587 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 20:32

At least your date told you he was married. I dated an "amazing" guy for three months before finding out he was married after I found him on facebook. (You wonder how anyone would leave that stuff public, especially if they're cheating on their wife.) I was going to write his wife a letter, but this guy's latest facebook picture is now a baby sonogram...

rosiebabyy36 0

Monday 6 July 2009 7:29

wow, that's really.. terrible.

FreeLevi 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 21:25

LOLOLOL That's the best

chelle_starlight 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 11:41

I have a feeling that the date was not so "excellent" if he actually said that...

YANKSFAN4EVER 0

Friday 4 June 2010 4:23

YDI.You shouldn't cheat.*tisk*tisk*

tchaikovsky93 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 0:43

Hahahahahahah this made me laugh :D

ariel_xx_aos 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 16:22

yeah how would you know who his wife is.. what a stupid thing to coment. but naw that sucks for you, but you can do better. there are so many dikheads in the world.. but you have to go through a few to find the right one :)

gigilvrs6 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 13:08

What a bastard.FYL

strikerman9 0

Wednesday 9 May 2012 5:32

Atleast it was after the kiss on the first date and not on the couch the morning after hooking up after having been dating for 3 months

KRiddle 15

Wednesday 30 May 2012 2:46

Cut 'em up!

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 28 December 2013 0:07

Seriously?

4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Neighbours Miscellaneous Cops Weird Health Scary Stressed out Parents Embarrassing Cars Transportation Work My ex Love LGBTQIA+ First Dates Facebook Social Media Virginity Intimacy Sex Painful School Tinder Awkward Dating Coworkers AITA Jealousy Anxiety

The Top

Today, I got a secondhand message from my mother to not jerk off so much. I know it’s secondhand because my wife says the same thing. They’re in cahoots and lie to one another: mom just wants grandkids, and my wife doesn’t want a smile on my face she didn’t put there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 516

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 339

You deserved it 7 901

The Top

Today, after getting a new remote job and traveling to the Bahamas while working remote, without asking my employer, because I figured they wouldn't find out and I didn't want them to say no. IT ended up tracking my computer and telling HR I was overseas and I got fired after I returned from my trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 2 326

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 686

You deserved it 12 032

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 605

You deserved it 10 232

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 324

You deserved it 2 454

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 749

You deserved it 4 553

Today, I was showing my hair-do from my high school prom from 10 years ago to a drunk neighbor. He turned to my mom and said, "Wow, she was a beautiful girl back in the day." Right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 174