Miscellaneous: Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself...

By Ew - 26/05/2016 13:02 - United States - Washington

Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 455

You deserved it 12 092

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Same thing different taste

By crashingdown - 29/05/2010 05:28 - Australia

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 071

You deserved it 14 585

By NevertheKool - 07/05/2015 21:43 - United States - Union City

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza, and ended up falling asleep on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 755

You deserved it 28 032

By human - 21/06/2019 00:01

Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 310

By Anonymous - 16/06/2014 16:33 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 704

You deserved it 11 000

Dream baby dream

By lani - 24/05/2021 00:00

Today, and since I decided to cut back on unhealthy foods, my last five dreams were literally just slideshows of junk food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 20 682

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 277

You deserved it 2 898

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 154

Willpower

By Anonymous - 11/09/2019 14:00

Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 1 761

anon97_fml 7

Friday 27 May 2016 2:09

Don't let your dreams be dreams.

Benpie 22

Friday 27 May 2016 2:11

Get off your ass, stop being lazy, and go run three miles then.

Comments

deathstroke990 22

Friday 27 May 2016 4:14

man, if you're gonna eat like crap at least don't be disgusting and leave the trash everywhere

naviajack626 16

Friday 27 May 2016 4:18

Best time to run is while the sun is setting with some good music.

musicforhearts 15

Friday 27 May 2016 4:23

That's probably a sign you should start heading to the gym. Never too late to get healthy!

zainman13 26

Friday 27 May 2016 4:31

That really threw me off my chair laughing! Good one OP. Made my day

Sia_Will 13

Friday 27 May 2016 4:48

First of all, stop eating crap. Doesn't matter if you workout. Bad food will overpower all your hard work.

gilbertclarence 9

Friday 27 May 2016 5:02

start walking

Aethereal 14

Friday 27 May 2016 5:11

1. Trash goes in trash can. Not a lot of effort. 2. Start with something simple and daily to work out. Some exercises you can do in your room, for instance. Even 5 minutes is something.