Health: Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted... - FML

By Anonymous - United States - Beloit

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

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Close quarters

Every little helps

Never flip flop and drive

By roar_shark - Canada

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

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Golden shower

Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

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By MushyKetchup - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

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By Anonymous

Et tu, Brute?

Today, I applied for a new job as a maintenance technician. About 10 minutes after submitting my resume, I received a rejection letter. My girlfriend is their HR person. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Wexford

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom told me I was worthless and could not do anything by myself. Determined to prove her wrong I attempted to install the AC that I had neglected to put in for the past month. While placing it on the window it fell through landing on her prized roses and breaking into pieces. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Ascot Vale

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Boya

Turn of phrase

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

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By Insomniac - United States - Wasilla

Today, after rolling my car on the highway, I witnessed several people stop and get out of their cars to take pictures. No one asked if I was okay, and I was the one who had to call 911 for myself. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

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By joeshmoe - United States

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

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By diapersplease - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

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By thesockmancometh - United States

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

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By T-Bear - United States - College Station

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

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By ArmyMan - United Arab Emirates

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/8/2020 17:01

So sorry I called you a dingdong

Today, I sent a draft email to my boss. The receptionist, thinking they were being helpful, forwarded it straight to the client. It's not ready for the client. I mean, it is NOT ready for the client. Really, really not ready for the client. FML

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By StuckInCollegeLimbo - United States - Riverside

Today, after going through months of registration and orientation to transfer to a university, I was told that my application was denied because I didn't meet the minimum credit requirement. You couldn't tell me this before? FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

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By nolife - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

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By tooflufoschool - United States

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

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By lollipopp56 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

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By Heart-Broken - Canada - Richmond

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

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By Monty - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

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By hero to zero - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

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By FYLyfer - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

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By WritesTooWell - United States - Miami

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

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By paula123 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML

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By f.a.t. - Australia

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

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By Asian - United States - Clover

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

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By pissed out pants - United Kingdom

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

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By are you kidding me???? - United States - Chaplin

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

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By Ellie - United States - Mission

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

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By FereldonBorn - United States - Roseville

Today, my dog was all over me, and I couldn't help but notice she kept sniffing towards my boobs. Turns out, she wasn't there to get love from me. She was there for a piece of food that I didn't notice had fallen in my bra. FML

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By supercharged - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

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By flowerfail - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

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By legit247 - United States - Moscow Mills

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

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Top comments

By ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU | 10

#5349139 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:14

That really bites.

By laughtersplay | 14

#5349145 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:16

I hope you don't have to pay for that extra surgery. Sorry you went through crappy service OP.

COMMENTS

By ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU | 10

#5349139 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:14

That really bites.

Reply

MelTheGreat | 23

#5349168 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:23

And at least they know the tooth.

Reply

zandalee | 19

#5349251 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:18

I had surgery today to remove a melanoma from my face! Am feeling pretty yucky... I feel for you OP having to go thru that all again.

Reply

oj101 | 33

#5349305 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:55

And the dentist did a teethible job.

Reply

HowAreYouToday | 34

#5349330 - Friday 1 February 2013 5:22

Denture know when its enough teeth puns?

Reply

Docbee | 11

#5349400 - Friday 1 February 2013 7:08

I need to brush up on my knowledge of when to stop.

Reply

sens3sfailing | 24

#5349450 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:52

The puns should fluoride along with the comment. Don't try tooth hard to make them, cuze then they just suck.

Reply

FFML_314 | 11

#5349453 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:55

You are proof of that.

By fryebaby33 | 12

#5349141 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

Look at all the crap you can't do now. -.- I would be pissed. I'm sorry, OP

By Xxblackice | 13

#5349142 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

did you go to mexico

Reply

Laurenluvz | 11

#5349180 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:25

How is that relevant to anything?

By xSalashawty | 30

#5349143 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

Maybe it's time to drive a bit further for a truly good dentist? ._.

Reply

TheRandomIndian | 17

#5349275 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:32

Everyone makes mistakes

Reply

Eluveitie | 9

#5349278 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:34

Since when do distance and proficiency have any correlation?

Reply

outoftown | 26

#5349285 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:39

31- The best oral surgeon in an area isn't supposed to make this big a mistake on multiple teeth.

Reply

sens3sfailing | 24

#5349451 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:53

Great surgeons have operated on the wrong side of the body many times before. It's pretty sad how much it happens

Reply

xdissizit | 16

#5349452 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:54

Then again, best doesn't necessarily mean good. Could mean that the oral surgeon sucks but no one in the area is better than him.

Reply

a1f0sff | 25

#5349470 - Friday 1 February 2013 9:16

Following 60's train of thought, if that's the best dentist in the area and supposing that he's bad, I wonder how bad the other ones are...

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#5349774 - Friday 1 February 2013 14:00

It could also be that he's the only dentist in the area, thus still the best.

By laughtersplay | 14

#5349145 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:16

I hope you don't have to pay for that extra surgery. Sorry you went through crappy service OP.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5349211 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:40

Yeah, a good oral surgeon will pay for any future treatment since they caused it. At least the ones I've worked for have.

Reply

LolFMLnot | 10

#5349283 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:38

I wonder if you can sue them if they don't pay for their mistake

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5349593 - Friday 1 February 2013 10:46

35 - It really depends on the mistake. Most lawyers won't touch a suit like that, though, as there's usually not a lot of money involved and the patient usually loses.

By kamikrazy | 6

#5349154 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:18

Better now than to find out later.

By tygerarmy | 35

#5349160 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:20

Well, that's a kick in the teeth.

Did you get a refund? Or at least free future dental work?

Reply

laya_fml | 26

#5349196 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:33

I don't know if I would want more dental work from this dentist regardless of if it were free.

By GothickNihilist | 15

#5349161 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:20

I hope that your insurance covers the further surgery. You could also take the matter to court.I wish you the best of luck on your recovery.

By perdix | 29

#5349182 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:26

Maybe the standards are low. The average oral surgeon in your area would have inserted them in your forehead.

At least, this guy got them in your mouth on the first try!

Reply

brackaman | 18

#5349276 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:32

That's what I thought. If he's the best then the others must prescribe braces for dentures.

Reply

FFML_314 | 11

#5349443 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:29

Perdix, you always know exactly what to say! ;)

Reply

Mister_Triangle | 21

#5349623 - Friday 1 February 2013 11:22

OP probably found him through an ad on the Internet: "meet local surgeons in your area tonight!"

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#5349777 - Friday 1 February 2013 14:02

Might have found him on Craigslist.

By igive | 28

#5349183 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:27

I hate law suits, but if he didn't fix the problem may I suggest one?