Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/1/2013 21:29 - United States - Beloit

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

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Doomed

Fuck the patriarchy

KoBabe

By Anonymous - 15/6/2016 15:07 - United States

Today, my bratty sister shoved me overboard during a boat ride. Not ten seconds after being pulled back on board, I got an earful of abuse from my parents. My sister is the family favorite and they refuse to believe that I didn't "provoke" her. FML

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By Dani_Rich - 16/2/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

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By Ughhhhh - 3/10/2016 16:18 - United States - Stockton

Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML

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By m33p - 5/2/2015 20:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

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By erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Soon.

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/9/2010 15:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

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By Alex - 15/8/2011 04:16 - New Zealand

Today, it was my engagement party. All was going fabulously until my fiancé's dad decided to give us a toast, and completely forgot my name in front of all my family and friends. I've been with his son for 7 years. FML

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By lyssamarie316 - 1/10/2011 00:23 - United States

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/8/2020 05:01

QUIET PLEASE

Today, where I live in Germany, you're supposed to be quiet between noon and 3 p.m., so people have a chance to take a nap or just eat lunch in peace, but 3 of my 4 neighbors seem to consider this the ideal time for any project that involves lawn-mowers and power tools. FML

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By bootycall:( - 15/2/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

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By Ab - 10/2/2009 01:50 - United States

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

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By blue - 25/8/2012 21:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

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By Jeanna S. - 23/11/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

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By sydysyd - 21/11/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

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By Shitty genes, no two ways about it. - 27/4/2013 00:21 - Australia - Perth

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/2/2011 17:41 - Ireland

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

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By Stunned - 4/2/2013 09:15 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/11/2018 05:00

Today, my mum put up a sticky fly trap to try get rid of our fly problem. My phone started ringing and I jogged to answer it, but my hair got suck in the trap. My mum had to pull my hair out of the sticky mess and pick dead fly bodies out of my hair. FML

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By Yeah - 24/10/2014 05:02 - United States - El Paso

Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

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By boopingsnoot - 7/7/2017 02:04

Today, while working at the vet, we had a familiar little dog show up for a minor procedure. The dog always sits on its owner's lap on the drive over, and always gets peed on. Not talking about dog pee. And we're not allowed to bathe it because that service costs extra. FML

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By bald&ugly - 19/10/2019 02:00

Empathy City

Today, after losing all my hair to chemo, I finally felt brave enough to go out without a wig or a headscarf. I expected some weird looks. I didn’t expect a woman in a store to point to me and tell her daughter, “See what feminism does to women? She’ll never have a husband, I bet!” FML

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By Anonymous - 25/9/2018 12:00

Today, a guy asked for hot fries at the drive thru. After receiving the fries, he threw them at the drive thru window, complained that they were too hot, and asked for the manager for burning his mouth. I am the manager. FML

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By veggiedude - 8/5/2014 03:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/7/2014 20:44 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

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By jam - 27/7/2020 08:01

Is that even legal?

Today, my boss told me that I'm being terminated. Apparently, being pregnant means I was going to quit soon anyway, so there's no point. Now I have to get job so I don't get deported. FML

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By SaggyBoy135 - 12/7/2011 12:19 - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/3/2015 23:08 - United States - Sherwood

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

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By Bwberry - 29/11/2017 19:00

Today, I spent hours hand-painting an awesome design on a gift for a friend. My husband was supposed to assemble it when I finished, but when I stepped back to admire my work, he informed me that the whole thing was sideways. He watched me paint it. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 16:00

Waxing pubical

Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML

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By Anonymous - 18/6/2016 14:09 - United States - Concord

Today, I got really horny during a 10 hour shift, so I snuck into a storage room and relieved myself. Then as I went to leave the room, I noticed the security camera above the door. FML

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By flustered - 28/7/2009 22:55 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML

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By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

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By scottishoatmeal - 1/2/2016 23:11 - United Kingdom - Auchterarder

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

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By turdburger - 2/9/2009 05:56 - Australia

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

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By creepedasfuck - 23/9/2012 16:50 - United States - Limington

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2014 20:24 - France - Paris

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." 5ML

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By thanksmom - 9/1/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

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By sad-sexed - 6/9/2010 12:50 - Australia

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

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By nicolo - 27/10/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I got my tax return. I was really excited. Turns out the government does take the time to send out a tax return for $1.36. FML

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Top comments

By ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU | 10

#5349139 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:14

That really bites.

By laughtersplay | 14

#5349145 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:16

I hope you don't have to pay for that extra surgery. Sorry you went through crappy service OP.

COMMENTS

By ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU | 10

#5349139 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:14

That really bites.

Reply

MelTheGreat | 23

#5349168 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:23

And at least they know the tooth.

Reply

zandalee | 19

#5349251 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:18

I had surgery today to remove a melanoma from my face! Am feeling pretty yucky... I feel for you OP having to go thru that all again.

Reply

oj101 | 33

#5349305 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:55

And the dentist did a teethible job.

Reply

HowAreYouToday | 34

#5349330 - Friday 1 February 2013 5:22

Denture know when its enough teeth puns?

Reply

Docbee | 11

#5349400 - Friday 1 February 2013 7:08

I need to brush up on my knowledge of when to stop.

Reply

sens3sfailing | 24

#5349450 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:52

The puns should fluoride along with the comment. Don't try tooth hard to make them, cuze then they just suck.

Reply

FFML_314 | 11

#5349453 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:55

You are proof of that.

By fryebaby33 | 12

#5349141 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

Look at all the crap you can't do now. -.- I would be pissed. I'm sorry, OP

By Xxblackice | 13

#5349142 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

did you go to mexico

Reply

Laurenluvz | 11

#5349180 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:25

How is that relevant to anything?

By xSalashawty | 30

#5349143 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

Maybe it's time to drive a bit further for a truly good dentist? ._.

Reply

TheRandomIndian | 17

#5349275 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:32

Everyone makes mistakes

Reply

Eluveitie | 9

#5349278 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:34

Since when do distance and proficiency have any correlation?

Reply

outoftown | 26

#5349285 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:39

31- The best oral surgeon in an area isn't supposed to make this big a mistake on multiple teeth.

Reply

sens3sfailing | 24

#5349451 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:53

Great surgeons have operated on the wrong side of the body many times before. It's pretty sad how much it happens

Reply

xdissizit | 16

#5349452 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:54

Then again, best doesn't necessarily mean good. Could mean that the oral surgeon sucks but no one in the area is better than him.

Reply

a1f0sff | 25

#5349470 - Friday 1 February 2013 9:16

Following 60's train of thought, if that's the best dentist in the area and supposing that he's bad, I wonder how bad the other ones are...

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#5349774 - Friday 1 February 2013 14:00

It could also be that he's the only dentist in the area, thus still the best.

By laughtersplay | 14

#5349145 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:16

I hope you don't have to pay for that extra surgery. Sorry you went through crappy service OP.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5349211 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:40

Yeah, a good oral surgeon will pay for any future treatment since they caused it. At least the ones I've worked for have.

Reply

LolFMLnot | 10

#5349283 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:38

I wonder if you can sue them if they don't pay for their mistake

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5349593 - Friday 1 February 2013 10:46

35 - It really depends on the mistake. Most lawyers won't touch a suit like that, though, as there's usually not a lot of money involved and the patient usually loses.

By kamikrazy | 6

#5349154 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:18

Better now than to find out later.

By tygerarmy | 35

#5349160 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:20

Well, that's a kick in the teeth.

Did you get a refund? Or at least free future dental work?

Reply

laya_fml | 26

#5349196 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:33

I don't know if I would want more dental work from this dentist regardless of if it were free.

By GothickNihilist | 15

#5349161 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:20

I hope that your insurance covers the further surgery. You could also take the matter to court.I wish you the best of luck on your recovery.

By perdix | 29

#5349182 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:26

Maybe the standards are low. The average oral surgeon in your area would have inserted them in your forehead.

At least, this guy got them in your mouth on the first try!

Reply

brackaman | 18

#5349276 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:32

That's what I thought. If he's the best then the others must prescribe braces for dentures.

Reply

FFML_314 | 11

#5349443 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:29

Perdix, you always know exactly what to say! ;)

Reply

Mister_Triangle | 21

#5349623 - Friday 1 February 2013 11:22

OP probably found him through an ad on the Internet: "meet local surgeons in your area tonight!"

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#5349777 - Friday 1 February 2013 14:02

Might have found him on Craigslist.

By igive | 28

#5349183 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:27

I hate law suits, but if he didn't fix the problem may I suggest one?