Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/1/2013 21:29 - United States - Beloit

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

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Instadrama

Nice neighborhood

A beautiful truck decoration

By Anonymous - 31/1/2017 10:13 - United States - Gladewater

Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML

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By annonymous - 19/9/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

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By Peach - 5/12/2017 15:00

Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/1/2016 01:24 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

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By TSampson - 11/6/2009 11:51 - United States

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

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By Ima_Moronski - 26/7/2011 03:35 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/10/2012 00:39 - United States

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

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By _akwardsituation - 1/1/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/7/2013 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/12/2013 01:55 - China - Shanghai

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

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By DeathbyWording - 29/4/2016 17:05 - United States - Vernon

Today, my doctor said I "might" have an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat. It "could" be seriously life-threatening and I "should" go to a specialist for further tests. My insurance refuses to cover my consultation with the specialist because the doctor's wording is too uncertain. FML

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By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

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By WasteOfTime - 1/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

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By skyhigh - 13/1/2011 05:48 - United States

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

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By Nora - 12/11/2015 21:21 - United States - Fargo

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

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By Prometheus - 24/3/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML

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By single and unbuggered - 31/7/2015 21:04 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML

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By Uniforms - 29/3/2017 12:00

Today, a friend of mine asked me to take him to a city about an hour away to pick up his firefighter uniforms. When we arrived, he was told that his uniforms had been shipped to the station he works at. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Sexy morning

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/8/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

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By Maria39018 - 1/8/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

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By badenoughflowers - 14/1/2013 15:47 - United States - Ben Wheeler

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

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By Jakub89 - 5/6/2011 20:31 - Canada

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2019 02:00

Zing!

Today, I overheard my wife and teenage daughter arguing. My wife was complaining that our daughter is unappreciative. "You should thank me for giving you life," she said. My daughter snapped, "I thank God for that, not you." My wife sighed and said, "He didn't have to sleep with your father." FML

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By Anonymous - 22/1/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

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By fatteningmeup - 26/5/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

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By kyyle - 11/1/2014 04:02 - United States - Chicago

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

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By freckleboy422 - 31/1/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

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By Coccinelle - 5/2/2016 16:36 - France

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

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By tiffylueg - 21/6/2016 13:38

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

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By avatarnicole9 - 4/6/2015 05:17 - Canada

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

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By Master Debater - 1/2/2013 11:05 - Australia

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/9/2017 08:00 - Canada - Grand Bay

Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML

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By Nickname - 12/10/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

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By I tried - 9/4/2020 17:00

Lockdown is driving us down

Today, my husband went on a tirade, accusing me of bullying and being too hard on our kids. Apparently, I’m taking this homeschool thing too serious, and I need to cut them a break. All I did was make them write their letters and numbers on paper instead of just using their tablets. Yeah, real mean. FML

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By doggybag - 24/9/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

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By anne - 17/6/2017 22:00

Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML

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By pregnant loser apparently - 20/5/2013 04:31 - United States - Franklin

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

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By workaholic - 15/2/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

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By Al Staten - 6/12/2016 22:03

Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML

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Top comments

By ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU | 10

#5349139 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:14

That really bites.

By laughtersplay | 14

#5349145 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:16

I hope you don't have to pay for that extra surgery. Sorry you went through crappy service OP.

Comments

By ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU | 10

#5349139 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:14

That really bites.

Reply

MelTheGreat | 23

#5349168 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:23

And at least they know the tooth.

Reply

zandalee | 19

#5349251 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:18

I had surgery today to remove a melanoma from my face! Am feeling pretty yucky... I feel for you OP having to go thru that all again.

Reply

oj101 | 33

#5349305 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:55

And the dentist did a teethible job.

Reply

HowAreYouToday | 34

#5349330 - Friday 1 February 2013 5:22

Denture know when its enough teeth puns?

Reply

Docbee | 11

#5349400 - Friday 1 February 2013 7:08

I need to brush up on my knowledge of when to stop.

Reply

sens3sfailing | 24

#5349450 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:52

The puns should fluoride along with the comment. Don't try tooth hard to make them, cuze then they just suck.

Reply

FFML_314 | 11

#5349453 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:55

You are proof of that.

By fryebaby33 | 12

#5349141 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

Look at all the crap you can't do now. -.- I would be pissed. I'm sorry, OP

By Xxblackice | 13

#5349142 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

did you go to mexico

Reply

Laurenluvz | 11

#5349180 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:25

How is that relevant to anything?

By xSalashawty | 30

#5349143 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:15

Maybe it's time to drive a bit further for a truly good dentist? ._.

Reply

TheRandomIndian | 17

#5349275 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:32

Everyone makes mistakes

Reply

Eluveitie | 9

#5349278 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:34

Since when do distance and proficiency have any correlation?

Reply

outoftown | 26

#5349285 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:39

31- The best oral surgeon in an area isn't supposed to make this big a mistake on multiple teeth.

Reply

sens3sfailing | 24

#5349451 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:53

Great surgeons have operated on the wrong side of the body many times before. It's pretty sad how much it happens

Reply

xdissizit | 16

#5349452 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:54

Then again, best doesn't necessarily mean good. Could mean that the oral surgeon sucks but no one in the area is better than him.

Reply

a1f0sff | 25

#5349470 - Friday 1 February 2013 9:16

Following 60's train of thought, if that's the best dentist in the area and supposing that he's bad, I wonder how bad the other ones are...

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#5349774 - Friday 1 February 2013 14:00

It could also be that he's the only dentist in the area, thus still the best.

By laughtersplay | 14

#5349145 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:16

I hope you don't have to pay for that extra surgery. Sorry you went through crappy service OP.

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5349211 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:40

Yeah, a good oral surgeon will pay for any future treatment since they caused it. At least the ones I've worked for have.

Reply

LolFMLnot | 10

#5349283 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:38

I wonder if you can sue them if they don't pay for their mistake

Reply

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5349593 - Friday 1 February 2013 10:46

35 - It really depends on the mistake. Most lawyers won't touch a suit like that, though, as there's usually not a lot of money involved and the patient usually loses.

By kamikrazy | 6

#5349154 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:18

Better now than to find out later.

By tygerarmy | 35

#5349160 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:20

Well, that's a kick in the teeth.

Did you get a refund? Or at least free future dental work?

Reply

laya_fml | 26

#5349196 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:33

I don't know if I would want more dental work from this dentist regardless of if it were free.

By GothickNihilist | 15

#5349161 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:20

I hope that your insurance covers the further surgery. You could also take the matter to court.I wish you the best of luck on your recovery.

By perdix | 29

#5349182 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:26

Maybe the standards are low. The average oral surgeon in your area would have inserted them in your forehead.

At least, this guy got them in your mouth on the first try!

Reply

brackaman | 18

#5349276 - Friday 1 February 2013 4:32

That's what I thought. If he's the best then the others must prescribe braces for dentures.

Reply

FFML_314 | 11

#5349443 - Friday 1 February 2013 8:29

Perdix, you always know exactly what to say! ;)

Reply

Mister_Triangle | 21

#5349623 - Friday 1 February 2013 11:22

OP probably found him through an ad on the Internet: "meet local surgeons in your area tonight!"

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#5349777 - Friday 1 February 2013 14:02

Might have found him on Craigslist.

By igive | 28

#5349183 - Friday 1 February 2013 3:27

I hate law suits, but if he didn't fix the problem may I suggest one?