Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML
Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
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Top comments
Hannah_fml 0
Kids seem to like me, maybe because I am shorter than most adults. But I ALWAYS ask them if they need help first. Once I was skiing and there was this small 5 yr old kid and he was 'stuck' on a flat part without poles, so I asked him if he would like help, and he said yes, so I pulled him along (he grabbed onto my pole) the flat section. People often go up to dogs and just pet them, dogs attack, and the dog gets euthanized...
Mr_Serious 6
people need to teach their kids what the hell that stuff actually means... i probably would've shit-stomped that little prick...
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Comments (43)
F_area_fml 0
Awh et tout le monde a du te regarder comme un pédophile ensuite. T'aurais simplement du lui demander gentiment s'il avait besoin de ton aide. Un p'tit garçon c'est très pudique! I agree, ur life is f***ed :s
Okeenow 0
Yeah don't touch other people's kids. Or pre-empt the action by asking permission first.
elguapo_fml 0
#23 - there's obviously a difference between just touching a kid (ie: a pat on the back, or a tap on the head), especially if he knows you're gonna touch him or of you know the kid, and randomly walking up to some kid and trying to zip his jacket for him. An unizpped zipper is right in front of the crotch, and touching anywhere around that area when the kid doesn't expect is is DEFINITELY treading the line between just being nice and being that creepy potential pedophile. You should learn how to interpret statements rather than taking everything literally
alwaysalady 0
If you have kids and you see a kid struggling with something, your mom-stinct kicks in and you want to save them, but as a general rule you shouldn't touch other people's children. Would you like it if some stranger came up and touch your kid? Cuz it pisses me right the hell off when people touch mine.
teamecko00 0
ahhaha kids are crazy
Itachi_Kisuke 0
lmfao! Well... the little kid DID do the right thing IF he REALLY thought you were going to "bad touch" him though my guess is he was just being a shit head. That sucks BIG time.
Fmylifeeveryday 0
this is one of my favorites.
FriendlyShadows 0
Dude, that sucks MAJOR! The kid was probably molested at some point in their life....that's the only reason the kid I babysit does that...his last babysitter was a pedo....O_e
tincan 0
What #6 said. You should have asked first to let the kid know what you are up to.
devondv 5
Us woman can't help but to help a kid when we see them struggling and if you don't have mom-stinct then you may as well be a douch. I would have asked first though. He probobly would have told you to Fxxk yourself lol. Did anyone see that post from a few days ago??? funny as hell.