Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML
Today, while in a crowded store, someone tore my mask off my face and ran away. Then before I could run after them, I got stopped and screamed at for not wearing a mask. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
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Top comments
PlayTheGame24 5
Because those clothes define you as a murderer.... Stupid judgmental people these days
_GoodGuy 11
I heard a thief that stole a calendar got 12 months.
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Comments (103)
mn_shr 22
Something like that happened to me once, but I was called an "off duty stripper". People are so nice.
Kristoffer 35
Maybe she thought you had taken the black to avoid being executed for murder.
splashface1 10
As they were throwing you out. You should've looked her in the eyes and screamed "bitch!"
edris_305 21
If you were buying a lot of plastic sheets and duct tape while wearing the same clothes i would be scared too.....Im just saying
MoroseMoose 47
I would be equally concerned if it was a 40 year old woman in a sundress buying those things though.
Jordesmorg 5
thats what you get for being clashy, keep it classy san diego
LeapingTurtles 4
why wear all black
amann27 9
Heh. Bitch
ohSNAPyall 27
I like the username. Good thing you're not a murderer AND a robber.
TVKill3r 15
Geez then I must be a mass murdering psycho with the way I dress. All black clothing, Tripp pants with metal rings and a spike collar and bracelet.
IsRaeliPrinCess 8
You mean not a murderer? And why people where all red or blue or green. Or all white? Its because they want too.