Intimacy: Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my...

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 14:19 - Australia - Applecross

Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super turned on at the sight of my large breasts all soaped up. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 666

You deserved it 9 926

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 4 362

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 413

You deserved it 2 502

By Employee - 07/08/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 425

You deserved it 12 606

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 913

By AlexaSt2611 - 25/08/2010 00:08 - Paraguay

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 540

You deserved it 28 388

Cute but… TMI

By heytherexo - 05/04/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my 3 year-old son came to the bathroom and put on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterwards, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 953

You deserved it 93 459

Big one

By Cnscott0205 - 17/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 263

Check this out

By Roger Quimble - 24/05/2019 00:04

Today, after taking a refreshing shower, I found out that due to a newly-built platform, people in the apartment underneath can see right into my bedroom. While I was standing there completely naked, some guy smiled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 255

By Anonymous - 27/06/2019 14:30

Today, I was so disgusted by my own body, I took a shower in the dark so I wouldn't have to look at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 561

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 764

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Monday 23 November 2015 19:32

This is the breast story I've ever heard.

thecitizen 15

Monday 23 November 2015 19:26

Become a model ;)

Comments

mattyiscool123 26

Tuesday 24 November 2015 4:22

Huh...

GAeroNKissR 26

Tuesday 24 November 2015 4:57

I almost said me too...except I'm a straight female so it's still kind of an FML moment...

AirBusDriver 23

Tuesday 24 November 2015 5:58

Amen!

MrsDovahkiin 14

Tuesday 24 November 2015 8:36

Definitely favoriting this! LOL

AstroTurfMatador 11

Tuesday 24 November 2015 8:37

Well, being turned on by the sight of one's own boobs is quite a titular event for any man, and you need to milk it for all that it's worth!

lal24ryan 2

Tuesday 24 November 2015 10:00

my mind went boobs, concieded, eww.

JosephKorso 15

Tuesday 24 November 2015 12:27

"How 'bout that side boob? Huh? That turn you on? Well, it shouldn't, because that's my side boob. Good night, everybody."

kewpiesuicide 29

Tuesday 24 November 2015 13:27

I was really excited about this FML for a minute...

jitterbug1503 12

Tuesday 24 November 2015 15:51

That took an unexpected turn...

Saucepenguin 6

Tuesday 24 November 2015 16:28

Sorry man but you just made my day! ?

VampOfSavannah 31

Friday 27 November 2015 11:14

Why is that a question?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 5 027

The Top

Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 137

Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 923

You deserved it 1 580

Today, I learned how my cat's flea medicine works. Instead of killing the fleas, it just makes the fleas move off of the animal. The good news is my cat no longer has fleas. The bad news is, the fleas moved into my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 341

You deserved it 4 509

Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 047

You deserved it 2 236

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 3 205

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 145

You deserved it 8 288