Animals: Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding...

By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 775

You deserved it 80 936

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 659

You deserved it 5 478

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 6 933

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 300

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 807

You deserved it 4 127

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 310

By itzcorinnelove - 18/08/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 173

You deserved it 12 742

Can't see for shit

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 14:02

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 233

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 71 729

By anonymous - 09/09/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 301

You deserved it 26 030

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 970

You deserved it 26 209

Anarchy_fml 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 12:12

You should have seen it coming...never develop habits like that. This will probably teach you not to...

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 24 September 2009 12:17

You just brought a whole new meaning to getting shitfaced.

Comments

ActionManly 11

Thursday 24 September 2009 13:16

YDI for publicly humiliating your dog.

Philosophic 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:34

I don't know... that's definitely one wag to introduce yourself to new people...

woahitsashlynn 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 13:23

Ewwww! Hahahahaha

andyn 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 13:25

Billy Idol RULEZ.

hanfan79 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 13:38

Question: If you were blowing INTO the bag, how did the poop end up in your mouth and on your face? Did you suck it in before trying to blow the bag up? I'm confused....=/

Poke_my_mon 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 14:02

What the hell kind of habit is that to have? "I absent-mindedly stuck a bag of shit into my face. Pity me!"

Xader 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:07

Actually it was a woman blowing dog poop in HER face. Which IMHO, doubles the hilarity.

Ranoona 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 14:24

you have no one to blame but you.

plexico 3

Thursday 24 September 2009 14:53

Maybe I know a little more physics than the next guy, but how does this happen? Did she hold the bag over her head and blow? Was she on the Space Shuttle? Except for a certain colloquialism, "blow" means to send an air stream out of your mouth. Unless you are a Human Leaf Blower and can create some crazy ricochets, you would generally cause the shit to go away from you. The only way I can see an air flow causing the shit to go in one's face is if they suck. Suck hard.