Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got punched after telling my 11-year-old cousin that her period is "coming for her." FML
Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML
Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML
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Top comments
Dr_Jalepenos 0
That was his version of "HULK SMASH!".
Accept 11
Is that a new fighting attack?
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Comments (215)
Iheardthat 7
I'm sorry to tell you this but you will always have one bigger than the other now.
Danny0D 5
WINNNNN!!!
itswhateveridk 0
Sad.
hyden121 2
That's a new one....
rmeyer6 0
you mean sammich :)
Camilleee_fml 7
Say, "prostate cancer!" :D
itouchuser77 8
Who cares...
taurusxdee 10
Lmfao, he's a keeper=]
pepelittle9 0
xD BWAHAHA my 12 year old cousin always boob slugs me I feel ur pain =^=
jlh2283 1
That's freaking hilarious!