Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
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Top comments
JakeDR 0
Haha, your face must've been priceless. :P
IAreStarfeesh 0
Did he make a web in your asscrack?
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Comments (219)
actorrules 0
omg now I have an erection and it doesn't feel good
FreezeeMonsta 19
ahaa, chillin with his genitals, i love it xD
CuttingTheHam 0
ur genitals or spiders?
Djosef_fml 0
OP, that's great, because this is the first step in your full acknowledgement of spiders' harmlessness. It was in your underwear all day and you are unharmed. You do the math.
BuhxritNAYY 5
EW I HATE SPIDERS! maybe it is trying to make a web in your pants, telling you you need to have sex more often or your pants dont get touched very often. there are plenty of jokes for this one! hahaha aww that's gross though I hate spiders
spicymeatballs 9
oh my God. I'd freak out.
supermegan6 1
WTF how'd he get in there?? maybe it's a gay spider :)
jimmyjacklin 0
WOW. It seems that you must had sex with it.
furikusan 1
be careful! spiderman might born 0.0 hilaasaaarious! IAYLS xDD
almostalbino 10
it didn't move or anything?