Health: Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots...

By Ravhi Karia - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

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Health

Dangling modifier

Sorry…

#1 Dad of the day

By Anonymous - Brazil

Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding "Yes! of course I will go!". After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, 2 ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML

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By absense - United Kingdom

Today, after returning to work from a week-long sickness, I sent out an apologetic email to all of my clients to explain my lack of communication due to absence. I realised afterwards I had put the subject line as 'Absense'. And sent it to all of my clients. FML

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By pooraf - United States - Urbana

Today, I got mugged. I almost felt sorry for him: he got a $15 cell phone, a frozen debit card, a credit card with only $50 of credit left on it, and no cash. FML

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By Muina - Morocco - Mekn?s

Today, I got mugged for my phone. I stupidly offered to give the guy my money if he'd let me keep my phone. He took both. FML

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By magomag - United States - Fair Lawn

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

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By dreamteam - United States

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Englewood

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

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By tamponmayhem - Canada

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

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By KittyNeko - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Mom hobbies

Today, on a road trip my mom got out to walk her dog. Her jar of Marijuana fell out of the car and rolled across the parking lot. FML

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By honor sucks - United States

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Godalming

TMI

Today, I sent a photo of my flat to my mother to show her how tidy I’d made it. What I didn’t realise was that my lube and sex toys were also included in the photo of the bedroom. FML

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By lunab123 - United States - Potomac

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

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By unlucky - 27/9/2020 10:49

Heavy sleeper

Today, I had a migraine. I decided to wear earplugs to block out sound while I slept. I don't usually wear them because they hurt my ears like nobody's business. The one day I wear earplugs, I get robbed. In the middle of the day. Through my own bedroom window. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

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By pissed off - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

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By KittyKat - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

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By thanksbabe - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

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By pst - South Africa

We need a break

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

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By ryansmithho - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML

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By oralMistake - United States

Today, I failed an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was, every time I looked up, my teacher looked down. Every time I looked down, she looked up. FML

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By Kitcat034

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

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By bigbaby - United States - Saint Michael

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML

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By HoratioNo - United States - Stockton

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

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By Andiii - United States

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

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By Guessmyproffhatesme

Today, in exams to become a funeral director, my full name was used as the example of the deceased in a few questions. Actually, 22 questions. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

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By Ghostly - United States - Madison

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

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By Lonely At Griffith

Today, well into my second year at university, I still haven't made a single friend. FML

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By Thanksmom - United States - Riverside

Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML

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By xxx - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I watched porn on my phone for the first time and it went black and shut down. In reality my phone just died. But I thought for a few seconds the government found me out. Paranoia much. FML

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By Morgan Bailey

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Cedar Park

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

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By L

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

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By anonymous - Canada

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

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By screwed - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML

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By owned - Singapore

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

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Top comments

By Markovski | 18

#6251464 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:30

Death in any case is something sad.

By pastel_fml | 18

#6251458 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:27

I almost cried for you a moment ago.

COMMENTS

By 1DisGR8 | 32

#6251457 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:26

Not an FML, your grandfather's alive!!!!

Magnettik | 16

#6251461 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:28

Supposedly...

By pastel_fml | 18

#6251458 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:27

I almost cried for you a moment ago.

Nexpecto | 28

#6251524 - Friday 3 April 2015 20:00

This is not so much a FYL but totally a F that family's L's.

I would be pretty thankful after that.

jake_braves | 25

#6251526 - Friday 3 April 2015 20:02

I'm soooo sorry OP...Ik exactly how you feel..I lost my granddad two nights ago..:(

By sobstory10000 | 17

#6251459 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:28

I have to agree with #1, you should feel relieved

By Scryll | 17

#6251460 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:28

What #1 said^^

By irisr_fml | 24

#6251462 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:29

Sorry for the scare OP, but be glad he's alive :)

Enslaved | 36

#6251475 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:49

"Weird Science"

flufee2 | 27

#6251497 - Friday 3 April 2015 19:29

The guy in the bed doesnt really have a life to fuck... Js

JKPwnage | 25

#6251823 - Saturday 4 April 2015 5:17

I'm sorry for the other guy, though

By Novadi | 22

#6251463 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:29

Although it's really embarrassing to run out of the wrong room, at least be relieved that your gramps is alive. If anything, F the guy in bed's life

Purexinsanity | 46

#6251470 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:36

And his family's

soulreaper12296 | 28

#6252358 - Saturday 4 April 2015 20:17

He wasn't technically in the wrong room. OP's grandpa was in that room, but they moved him and OP apparently was not told that.

Novadi | 22

#6252499 - Saturday 4 April 2015 22:53

#71 - Which is exactly why I said he was in the wrong room.

By Markovski | 18

#6251464 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:30

Death in any case is something sad.

KatieeMoe | 14

#6251472 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:38

Even though not being related, what op's been through is still considered an FML, I guess.

Countryboy1996 | 18

#6251564 - Friday 3 April 2015 21:07

It's sadder when it's a loved one.

By zharks1010 | 18

#6251465 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:30

What's wrong grandad is still alive!

By ballbags | 14

#6251468 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:32

The sad part is that the people of this site voted it An FML. The dude should be spending what little time he has left with gramps

By vikky538 | 28

#6251469 - Friday 3 April 2015 18:34

It might be a panic moment but at the end its a releif.

False_Stupidity | 41

#6251673 - Saturday 4 April 2015 0:34

*relief