Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket...

By GrahamCracker - 21/05/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 662

You deserved it 8 933

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 05:35 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 575

You deserved it 2 139

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 3 243

By penny-dropping - 16/04/2012 04:24 - United States

Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 411

You deserved it 3 137

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 138

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 255

You deserved it 804

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 015

You deserved it 2 642

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 949

You deserved it 4 785

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 04:44 - United States - Mahwah

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 650

You deserved it 3 557

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 3 661

Sorry Stuart…

By connor1701 - 27/02/2017 20:00

Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 353

You deserved it 642

bnwranbo 2

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:10

dude.... i was in the middle of eating breakfast...

djizzle 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:09

oh shit holy shit i would've thrown up all over the desk fyl ew.

Comments

harlehatschi 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:20

EW COCKROACH FYL TIMES A BILLION

MyzticHydra 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:20

thats weird how can you not noticed something moving like that?

Atreyu_Love 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:25

That is so ******* disgusting oh my god, I would have screamed and not been able to do the exam.. :| FYL Indeed.

tWitt3rBuG 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:32

Omg, Omg, YUK! I wud've totally freaked out. FYL indeed

cashmuhlah23 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:33

At least it couldn't talk, it would probably say clean yourself

NuclearWinter 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:38

I have an absolutely phobia of cockroaches. If that was me, after freaking out I would have washed my hand for the next 20 minutes.

MrAdventure 1

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:42

How often do you change your pants that you didn't notice?

ohschmoley 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:44

..... I can really only make horrified faces at this.

plethora 3

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:56

What kind of filth wizard are you?

megelin 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:58

#18: i agree. omg. D:

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The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

Today, my husband pathetically tried to convince me that his “friend” has his Facebook password, and “hacks” into his account to message another woman using his profile. The dick picture he sent her by text message? His “friend” has his iCloud password and “hacked” it, and sent it himself. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 168

The Top

Today, my pasty white boyfriend told me he intended to try and grow dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 316

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 164

You deserved it 5 091

Today, my husband had to admit that he lost 5000$ on a cryptocurrency scam that some asshole Twitch streamer convinced him to invest in via Twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 147

Today, I was crossing the street and did a full on faceplant. The reason? I pinched a nerve in my foot a couple of days ago, and now it’s completely useless. It’s like walking around with a dead foot. I think I’d be better off hopping on one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 106

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 3 592

Today, I woke up with intense pain and bruising. It turned out I'd suffered such a rare kind of wrist bone dislocation that the doctors aren't sure how to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 748

You deserved it 1 300

Same thing different taste

Night visitor

Hi guys

Sorry Stuart…

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