Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
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Top comments
Wandering_fml 0
Dude, some advice; if you EVER compare your girlfriend to an animal, make sure it isn't a huge animal that could be considered an indirect way of calling her fat. And even then, you're taking a big risk. When she's depressed, don't say much. Let her talk. She'll talk herself through it, all she needs is someone to listen to her and hold her. Someone who cares.
Jared1James 4
Maybe it would be a better idea to just snuggle with her and no stupid comments. If my girlfriend was depressed, I'd kiss her neck and tell her I love her and make her smile and laugh. :) But nice try. :P
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Comments (218)
DynamicDave 11
Of all the things to compliment...
Cadiz215 0
You should break up with her. You obviously derserve better than that little *****.
cormycakez 3
I can understand... You tried to make her feel good... but telling a girl she's like a horse also brings to mind every thing about a horse such as 'eating like a horse'... maybe next time just simply use eloquent words to get her to stop... and don't compare her to animals... at all... I'd say a bunny would be ok in the expression she's 'cute as a bunny' but thats the only one.
creepedon 0
Buddy, next time just stick to complimenting the eyes or something. If you absolutely cannot compliment a facial feature, then compliment her toned abs or the way her shirt compliments her breasts. If you absolutely must comment on her legs, then point out their length or how much slimmer they are than other girls' "thunderthighs." Honestly though, i don't see why she should get so upset over being compared to a horse. I mean, if you ever look at a horse's legs, they're just flesh and bone. Hardly any fat on them. I think she was just determined to be in a crappy mood. She should've appreciated your attempt at a compliment.
MacDaddyEvan 0
BAHAHAHA ^.^
percawesome 0
I had a professor who told me once that feminists don't want gender equality; they just want women to be superior over men instead of the other way around. Something interesting and slightly pertinent to chew on. And before anyone panics, I am a girl and believe in gender equality.
majorasshole 4
Stop being a wimp and tell her to harden the **** up princess.
zimandme123 0
BTW: NEVER! compare a girl to an animal!!!! unless she likes kitties... then maybe you can mention a kitty....XP
KingZaneXII 6
Yeah what would have been better would be "you have gorgeous legs" you dumbass
rozieslothinator 0
tell her she's sexy! not manly!