Intimacy: Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 795

You deserved it 6 567

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Same thing different taste

Big awkward

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 802

You deserved it 42 530

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 4 974

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 756

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 840

You deserved it 379

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 242

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 495

You deserved it 48 691

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 668

You deserved it 4 390

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 402

You deserved it 37 003

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 825

ColbyGB 13

Saturday 1 June 2013 5:37

Like mother, like daughter

firechicky 12

Saturday 1 June 2013 5:34

look at it this way, maybe one day you can tell your younger brother/sister you heard their conception.

Comments

meherm 11

Saturday 1 June 2013 13:20

Has anyone wondered why it's so weird for us to think of our parents having sex but then when it's come to us with our partners it's like no biggie..

wowsaint 4

Saturday 1 June 2013 13:20

So its a family business.

Jharrist89 12

Saturday 1 June 2013 15:03

That's the worst Op!

PaintedTempest 14

Saturday 1 June 2013 16:52

What does "dirty" texts to your boyfriend have anything to do with it?

Epikouros 31

Saturday 1 June 2013 18:12

Please go riding and forget this perverted site until you start sexting your boyfriend.

MarissaCristina 13

Saturday 1 June 2013 20:13

She could have been having sex with your boyfriend. Now THAT would've have been really frightening.

boobsarefun 4

Saturday 1 June 2013 21:33

I love how u added the part about sending dirty texts even tho it was completely unnecessary lol

Brainnnnz 19

Saturday 1 June 2013 22:09

What dies sending dirty texts to your boyfriend have to do with this FML?

millsjoshua949 12

Tuesday 28 July 2020 20:39

Is one thing connected to the other?

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The Top

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 174

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 316

The Top

Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year old sister who was sending him nude pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 660

You deserved it 1 675

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Afterwards, my parents thought it would be a great idea to have my favourite meal. I got to watch them enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 459

You deserved it 1 769

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 993

You deserved it 4 482

Today, two of my daughter's fish died after owning them for a year. Yesterday I spent $400 on a new bigger fish tank so that they would be happier. I built the stand, set it up, and got everything running. All I had to do was let it run for a week so that the pH would be fine for them, and then move them across. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 160

Today, my sister, who is now 19, gathered the guts to formally present her boyfriend to us. She was so concerned that my parents wouldn't let her have a boyfriend, she kept it a secret for 5 years. We were happy to hear it, until she presented him to us. He's a 35-year-old taxi driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 137

Today, my brother let us know his wife was in labour. I rang him a few hours later to ask how it was going. I wasn’t expecting him to switch to video chat to show me “The Miracle.” I now know what my sister-in-law's vagina looks like in the middle of birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 110