Today, I was reading a recipe list on my tablet. I moved a little, and one of my fat rolls came into contact with a button which closed the tab. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I accidentally cooked my new Apple Pencil. Being magnetic, it stuck to a baking tray that was put down on the table I’d been drawing at, and went in the oven. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
Your fat rolls clearly want you to pick different recipes.
JesusFreak227 15
Lose some weight?
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Comments (21)
dietcoke09 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
@ #8 What the ****? I usually let your stupid comments go but this is your most idiotic comment yet.
Seabass_Chan 33
That could have been a good burn if I weren't bored by the time you got to it.
mikelangele 15
Seriously? Go to the history page maybe....(and hence recover your tab!!)
Iwannarock1 19
#8 This comment makes no sense. Maybe you don't need to comment on every post.
esca6angel 16
Well, might be a sign.
saltyacs 10
Cooking topless? Sounds like a good recipe no matter what!
TheGreastest 24
That was a little bit too harsh, no?
MamaChey 24
#5 - I would not be able to sleep tonight unless I first called out how pompous and arrogant your skinny ass sounds sitting on your high horse. You are OBVIOUSLY one of those chicks who loses weight and then turns into a ******* bitch. OP was making fun of herself, not feeling sorry for herself. #StillUglyOnTheInside,Number5
kayder111 12
Pretty much no real excuse, women have much higher metabolism when compared to men. But running on the treadmill doesn't shave off the belly fat, try something else
OneFourNine 9
<p>A sign from Gut?</p>