Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, my boyfriend made a mess eating spaghetti. Yes, he is older than 5. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
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Top comments
Kiki242 19
That admiration turned to horror.
starcable 9
five second rule. it's still good
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Comments (85)
fmylifeNOT 15
I have three words for you... Five Second Rule!
perdix 31
"Accidentally" drop the spaghetti on the floor (again) and take your boyfriend out for pizza. It's worth a few bucks to avoid a bout with food poisoning.
faygo_chick 5
Really? Food poisoning from the floor I highly doubt that. The same germs are there that would be on everything else.
perdix 31
#44, bullshit! What's on the floor includes shit that falls off the bottoms of everyone's shoes (which may include literal shit.) Also, the germs on the floor haven't been exposed to the 140 deg F temperature required to kill bacteria, so even if you are right, the "germs" on the food would have been killed by the boiling water, but the floor "seasoning" could still be alive and ready to **** you up.
amisenho 11
That's why it's important to autoclave your house between meals! Just make sure you're not in the house when that happens.
glitterkuro 18
Or just say "I saw you drop that on the floor and I'm not eating it?" Sure, offer to buy pizza rather than making him cook a whole new meal, but why pretend like you didn't see him drop it?
Sports_guy3 28
Really, Noor? Really?
theonecasey 27
As long as it didn't land in anything. You are good to go!
brittyboo123 35
I guess you will be doing all the cooking now....
Mynamewontfi 40
I'm hoping for you it was his first time cooking, who knows how many times that happened before.
KasiaLilith 13
Hopefully it went back on HIS plate!
breakinlegs 19
spaghetti and hairballs
Zebediabolical 45
A little bit of floorspice is sometimes nice!
SystemofaBlink41 27
I dunno... I'd be more worried if it indeed looked like a noodle.