Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, at around 12 a.m. I went to bed, happy that I get to sleep in because I had nowhere be in the morning. Sadly that came to an end when I woke up around 7 a.m. to my mom coming home and screaming because she saw a mouse. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xoxoemmers 4
Rodents do know best
lovelydarlings 6
Guinea pigs need sleep too!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (341)
F0xyTurtle 8
I'm a gamer... :)
WarmPigBelly 4
Mine does the samething, he squels till he gets his breakfeast or dinner the he runs laps around his cage.
ih82bl8 2
They aren't classified as a rodent. They r in their own species group until connection can be made with another animal
SthrnJezeBelle 0
Actually, they're cavies. Order Rodentia. Technically rodents. There are at least 5 other species in the Cavia genus, so C. porcellus (guinea pigs) aren't alone. Sure, they're their own species, but so are their close cousins, capybara and wild cavies. Rodent is the order and it includes hamsters, gerbils and, yes, rats. Each of those have their own species as well. Just goes to show you - when your roommate's guinea pig dies and you end up with all her care books to cut pictures from, you learn a little something, too.
tellithowitis 13
Lol
karagarren 8
I love games. but I spend more time in studies and hanging out with friends. but I can grind a game for long periods at a time
KOn311 2
No it's to #1
nixter5 18
If you girls would just TRY and play a game, you'll learn they're really fun, especially when playing with a friend/boyfriend. Don't just assume all gamers are geeks because they enjoy doing what's fun to them.
Beeisc00l 5
OP - My guinea pig just wanted the lights off... He continued to eat for another hour, chuckling to himself as he did.
illmatic2 16
That sounds like one selfish pig.
False_Stupidity 42
Solution: Get a luminescent keyboard so you can play in the dark and get decent headphones for the sound.. Maybe then, when Mr Guinea Pig sees only darkness (except maybe a faint glow) and hears only silence he will think you've gone to bed and shut the hell up...
srm0608 0
yu have a smart ass rodent
elisabeth1_fml 0
Right on babe lol