Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML
Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aback 5
Your cousin set you up.
randomdude1234 0
omg trauma.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
sublime93 0
Yawn
TuckingFypo 0
Poor you, my grannys dumps always smell like a bouquet of assorted roses!
Ranoona 0
lol XD
Sun_Kissed18 25
tmi? How the hell would you know what your grandma's shit smells like???
TuckingFypo 0
Erm...I was being sarcastic because he said "smelly" shit...all shit is smelly.
Synnie 0
You, sir #22, are a moron. Anyway, may I have a rose?
TuckingFypo 0
Some people! Why yes, you most certainly can have a rose.
Glam_fml 0
I don't know who had it worse: you seeing that, or your poor Grandma having the shit (literally) scared out of her by you.
plexico 4
Actually, scaring the literal shit out of Grandma is probably faster, more effective and cheaper than fiber drinks, laxatives and enemas. At that age, a good dump is better than sex.
DunHassleDuhHoff 0
saying anything is better than sex is like...blasphemy XD
jonny2x4 0
Anyone who says anything is better than sex isn't getting any.
Intoxicunt 6
It's ok, plexi just hasn't had fantastic, screaming, all-over-the-house-and-then-some sex in too long. I can remedy this.
plexico 4
For the sake of brevity, I left out a part. At Grandma's age, a good dump is better than the sex (she would have at that age.) Not the best sex of all time. Toxi, you're on.
ashylarry102 0
plank!!!!
123e3 0
LOL
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
The ones that don't smell, duh. xD
Zichi 0
Your grandma is at fault here for not locking the door.
letthemxeatcake 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Christina21 2
LOL