Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML
Today, I went to the casino and put $500 into a game and lost it all. I tried another $100 and won it all back, plus some. Instead of walking out ahead, I kept trying to hit bigger and ended up losing all my rent money. Rent is due and now I can’t pay it. FML
Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML
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Top comments
AScic1 3
You're a swearing, iPhone using elderly person?
tpike1296 11
Well, you'll need a holy **** to feel better after this.
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Comments (77)
CEG3 0
Tourettes Guy moment xD
kei1108 13
You probably shouldn't talk like that. Especially in public. it's rude. YDI. but that does suck though. so FYL too!
lvgurlie89 6
The older you get, the more money you have to put in the swear jar. If you were a kid it would've only cost you 25¢.
kbball95 7
shouldn't you have yelled bingo instead? lol
CheerCraazy 0
**** is not holy! :)
mustangs85 0
thats what you get for playing bingo..
slcpunk588 0
you must've sounded like the turrets guy, saying such profanity
doubleodoggy 0
haha nice!
mante_fml 0
stupid ass
ElenaBeattie 0
lol that is funny