Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called Pizza Hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
I'm sure you could make many friends with the promise of a pizza that action. Sorry, that was a cheesy pun.
alshygirl 14
You didn't have to fake having friends. The pizza guy doesn't judge
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Comments (94)
decwalsh4 5
key and Peele lol
summerblondie12 4
Well then go out and communicate with people and actually TRY to make friends.. Common sense
rawlings123 17
Stop being a little bitch. Do you truly think the pizza guy gives a shit if you're eating alone?
someguy314159265 15
Why do so many people insist on making other people think they have a social life?
nipbiff 3
I know how you feel dude :/
shutupyou 11
You can do it! Befriend the pizza delivery guy!
skarp333 4
It'll work out be patient
brickboy1 8
this reminds me of the key and peele sketch.
yzzami 17
Youre sad and pathetic for doing that. There is no shame is ordering pizza for oneself
kodaxX 8
Hey, cats make great friends too. They never talk back, and you won't even have to share the pizza!