Intimacy: Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into... - FML

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 9 439

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 816

You deserved it 53 756

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 785

You deserved it 5 226

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Spicy

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 517

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 505

You deserved it 4 033

By Amberain - 16/08/2012 15:16 - United Kingdom - Widnes

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 334

You deserved it 7 077

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 417

You deserved it 1 409

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 2 502

Disinterested

By lily - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 340

By ambermcnulty - 05/01/2010 02:27 - France

Spicy

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend saw me naked. He grabbed my breasts and began to sing, "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 202

You deserved it 6 079

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 288

Next

Top comments

sallen0046 4

Thursday 23 December 2010 12:17

So what? Every intimate encounter of your life will not be romantic. If you can't learn to appreciate the playful times, you're going to have serious difficulty hanging on to a boyfriend.

KingDingALing 9

Thursday 23 December 2010 12:20

You should do the same thing with his balls, OP.

Comments

bbeach2013 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 3:31

WIN!

jeff1900 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 7:41

lol that is kinda wired

TeenTitan 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 7:41

I thought it was funny xD

cheer4everever 0

Friday 27 January 2012 5:05

Immaturity is the biggest problem facing adults these days . . .

Rxoxdx 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 21:46

Sorry but lol

akg98 13

Sunday 10 June 2012 7:23

O wow

Greggums 2

Friday 10 August 2012 10:39

Ouch

thefmlman2011 36

Sunday 26 August 2012 8:58

The boobs of a lady, is like the balls of a guy.....

Boris4Life 4

Friday 5 October 2012 11:38

PERFECT!!!! Da.....DaDaDa........DaDaDa......

BoomerSpaulding 1

Saturday 20 October 2012 19:50

Classy

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The Top

Today, it's now exactly one year until I turn 30 and I’ve never been with a woman before. I know that it’s over for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 225

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 184

The Top

Today, I was at the office making copies for a project. As I left the copy room my dress pants caught a sharp something on the door frame and ripped open my pants. All my co-workers saw my pink boxer briefs. Now I'm called "Pinky" by everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 388

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 072

You deserved it 3 378

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 444

You deserved it 4 231

Today, after my 10 year-old son asked what equal rights were and I'd explained it means you treat everyone the same, this morning he punched a girl who's been bullying him so hard, he broke her tooth, because, "Equal rights: if she was a boy I'd have hit her before, but equal rights says it doesn't matter if she's a girl, so I hit her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 668

Today, I discovered my washcloths smelled like mushrooms. As I'm allergic to mold, I panicked and spent all day washing every towel and sheet in the house. At last, I went to take a shower and discovered that the mushroom smell was actually emanating from my $5-a-bar organic soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 2 239

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 314

You deserved it 3 794