Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
Today, I narrowly avoided a head-on collision in the parking garage. The other driver cussed me out. It's a one-way route through the parking garage, and I was going the right way. FML
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
Today, while in a parking lot, I accidentally cut someone off out of pure nervousness, as I'm a new driver. I got out of my car to apologize, and they responded by beating me and my car to a pulp with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Look at the bright side... a parking lot is a great place for him to do that; you got his license plate with ease, right?
p3rfect_ins4nity 0
I would have beatin the shit out of that fool!
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Comments (148)
MermaidSongXOXO 6
This is when you go all Britney Spears on his ass and attack his car with an umbrella.
lickmyjock 0
and throw a phone at him
CallMeHush 1
and walk on his hood with the bare feet you just had in the rest room.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
and shave all your hair off.
alexisthename 0
...and end up with a defensive lineman's upper body even after you worked your ass off to lose all the baby weight brought on by your dancer-turned-Celebrity-Fit-Club-contestant ex-husband's impregnation of your previously-desired body. I'm thirsty.
afarr 0
no, the drugs come first
VeryNice329 0
People suck, besides, it was Wal-Mart! If he didn't get there soon, it would've disappeared!
daniisme 0
eat him >:D
spazzman 0
that's what u get for shopping at walmart.
ktbird 0
my thoughts exactly
NYKnicks36 0
is it just me or are all the fmls that happen at stores all at walmart
banacafalata 0
What a psycho! You should have run him over or chased him with something heavy
Rickymonkeypants 0
Falcon Punch!!!!!
Endorpheus 0
He shops at Walmart. The customers there are not the brighest people on the earth.
winterharte 0
.. Get out and punch a dent in his face?
Tabbykat9698 0
YDI For being at a Wal-Mart.
BikerMike 0
What a ******* asshole. I hope you got his plates and made a police report. Wally world should have something on video with the security cameras.
erinelizabeth201 0
okay so walmart is ****** amazing. but fyl cause the guy is a dumbass