Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I was working as a valet when an old guy came up and wanted us to park his car. He said he had an accident. We looked in the car and saw poop all over the seat. We still had to park the car. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML
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Top comments
soiheardyoufaile 4
Ah that's just him claiming the spot, better luck next time!
hockeyrocks39 0
Did you wait? Maybe he picks up after himself. He might have had some hobo shit bags, kind of like the dog baggies and cleaned it right up for your pretty little car.
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Comments (99)
Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0
is that not normal?? ;)
footballtracksta 0
yes. **** your life. not the homeless man who can't find a toilet to shit in.
Got_any_grapes1 4
Oh yeah, it's totally his fault. He definitely should have pulled a toilet out of his back pocket.
SassiestLemon 2
You were at a flea market, weren't you?
xxsolomonsterxx 0
Well..... That's unsanitary
armorf0r 7
merely a speed bump
hornyjello 1
wow that is not a fml
TheLovelySayu 0
you shouldve told him "oy go take a dump somewhere else like under a bridge or sumthin!" or "ey go find a Prius!"... well at least you kno noone will take the spot lol
smileydancer92 2
he was marking his territory lol
i13Zero 5
Mmmmm...tasty.