Intimacy: Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told...

By pineapple456 - 16/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 595

You deserved it 18 000

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Same thing different taste

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 885

You deserved it 6 276

Considerate

By BadLuckLad - 22/10/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 439

You deserved it 3 891

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 894

You deserved it 13 063

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 665

You deserved it 9 948

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 230

By anonymous - 06/09/2016 03:05 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 370

You deserved it 2 240

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 986

You deserved it 6 462

Not funny

By Blue balled by porn - 02/12/2025 20:00

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 199

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 392

You deserved it 3 192

By whoops - 15/08/2016 04:07 - United States - Huntingdon

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I had cheated on her. She didn't tell or get mad, oh no. She looked at me for a few seconds then burst out laughing and called me a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 859

You deserved it 14 082

darkblue_13 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 23:35

I'm with the girl in this FML here, I hate it when i'm just making out with a guy, having fun, and he assumes that I want to have sex with him

Rayn4u_fml 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 8:55

Please define "hooking up".

Comments

depotst 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 14:04

25 you're a sick ****** lmao

swhockey02 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:33

wow I'm first ti reply to. 48

sebster5858 0

Monday 24 May 2010 5:38

lol

cambridge_fml 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 0:29

wow I'm first to reply to 50

dont_stop_believ 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 7:08

wow i'm first to reply to 52

lorenzobalderas 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 17:46

haha she doesn't want to wait she doesn't want it at all XD

LegitDGK 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 5:32

wow I'm first to reply to 53

vespero 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 19:54

wow. I'm first to reply to 55

omgtheresnoname 0

Thursday 8 July 2010 22:33

wow I'm first to reply to 56

toch040 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 2:59

wow. i'm first to reply to 57

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML

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You deserved it 335

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Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

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You deserved it 1 339

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I agree, your life sucks 28 832

You deserved it 2 577

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 749

You deserved it 38 838