Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Today, during oral sex, my wife squirted, which she’s never done before, and I was so surprised I accidentally breathed it straight up my nose. It’s been 3 hours and it’s still all I can smell FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
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Top comments
Leeono 26
What cums around goes around.
RichardPencil 32
A true gentleman yells, “Fire in the hole” just before the moment of truth. Chivalry is dead.
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Comments (32)
onceuponatime456 16
Having sex? You mean you were GIVING your boyfriend a ******* and he came in your nose!
ChibiChibi_fml 28
That doesn't actually make sense either because if the dick was in her mouth for a ******* than how did he ejaculate up her nose in a way that caused her to snort it up and choke cough it into her mouth. If he had come unexpectedly during a ******* it seems more likely that she would have choked causing her to spray cum from her nose. Basically the OP is going to have to come back and explain how exactly this was accomplished because the only two options I have managed to come up with are 1. He was having tit sex with her and came during an upward thrust towards her face or 2. He was dick slapping her in the face and unexpectedly came by her nose. Also, Oral Sex is still sex. Also, Also, many many couples do oral sex during intercourse. It's not just a **** thing for occasional pauses from thrusting happen to allow a little sucking action before returning to thrusting. So this could have happened while they were having sex but during a point where it was oral sex not intercourse.
PenguinPal3017 19
Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
I guess it's not just spit or swallow - - apparently you can snort too.
mekiswrite 21
Snowball, anyone?
EmDizzle2007 28
that's actually kinda cool
prncsjnlca 10
I think you don’t know how sex works.
fookmyleaf 13
kinky
VQueen90s 3
Hi, I'm the OP. I've created an account just now so I can comment on this. It's awesome and funny that this got published. Some clarification is def required, for some reason FML edited my post, in my original post I mentioned that my boyfriend went to 'finish' on my face after having sex, but they took that part out :/ , guess it was too kinky haha. Anyway he got on top of me, I had my head a bit back and was waiting for him. When he came, my head must've been at a good angle and he must've been close because the first shot went straight up my nose! It was a weird sensation, and I didn't have time to comprehend it before I snorted it by mistake. My nasal passage was stinging and I nearly felt sick after coughing it up. Before anyone asks, my boyfriend didn't do it on purpose lol, he was just as shocked as I was, however he couldn't stop laughing afterwards, and I wouldn't be surprised if he had bragged to his friends about it, I admit it was a good shot haha. Glad to see there was another person in the comments that's experienced it so I'm not alone lol, as for a party trick, don't know if that would make me popular or just scare people off, depends on the party I guess haha. Anyway hope you guys had a good laugh, and sorry if anyone got grossed out by any of the details :P
whyisitincapital 25
Not gonna lie, your FML nearly made me throw up, but still hilarious as well haha.
Doug Ggg 3
If you are having the kind of sex that this can happen, how is this a fml. Normal sex does not finish in nose btw
whyisitincapital 25
Did you not take the chance to read the OP's comment? They explained it in good detail.
Gofuckyourself 24
That's quite the talent 😏