By Foreigner - Jersey
Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML
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  ChibiChibi_fml  |  27

@174 First do you actually know what aka stands for? I only ask because it in no way works with what you said.
Secondly, why is it that in your mind two people lying in bed automatically means they've had sex? They could have just been relaxing in bed together, or they could have been planning on having sex and not gotten to it yet.

  Pasty_fml  |  4

1. Grandma walks around naked.
2. Grandma tells your boyfriend about your crotch pimples.
3. Grandma takes you on vacation and dumps you at fat camp.
4. Grandma takes you to church so she can expel the demons from you.
5. Grandma thinks she can wear a bikini. Around your guy friends.
6. Turns out Grandma is a cougar and slept with your boyfriend.
7. Your grandma THINKS she is a cougar and tries to sleep with your boyfriend.
8. Grandma doesn't remember who you are and calls the police on you.
9. Grandma thinks you are her live in nurse and demands a sponge bath.
10. Grandma tells you that Grandpa can still get it up. You realize your 80 year old grandma gets more action than you and doesn't have all her teeth.
11. Your grandmother has a porn collection.
12. Your grandmother finds your old VHS porn collection, thinks its home videos and shares it with the whole family.
13. Turns out your Grandmother smokes pot. She gets very friendly with your friends when she smokes it.
14. Grandma forgot that bras are important.
15. Grandma borrows your clothes (short shorts and bikini) for a night on the town.
16. You discover granny has been stealing your condoms.
17. You introduce your black boyfriend, your grandmother accuses you of sleeping with the help.
18. Your grandmother says, "You're getting fat!" You tell her you're pregnant. She calls you a liar.
19. Your grandmother gets drunk and tells you about her upcoming boob job.
20. Grandma gets a boob job.
21. Grandma doesn't realize Facebook is not a search bar. She searches "How to tell if my grandson is gay." You are her only grandson.
22. Turns out your grandma is part of the Nazi party. Your mom just told her you're adopted from a nice Jewish family. You are staying at her house for the weekend.
23. Your grandma moves back in to your house and gets your room.
24. Your grandmother smells like Tuna and never washes, you have to sit next to her on the trip to New York--from California.
25. Grandma always calls you Susan, the name of your sister who is her favorite. You're a boy.
26. Your grandma introduces her grandson. You're a girl. She is talking about you.
27. Grandma is sun bathing--again.
28. Grandma tells you that your mother was conceived on your bed.
29. Granny loses her teeth, you find them under your pillow. Along with a condom.
30. Granny insists upon coming on your date. Your dad agrees.
31. Your grandmother says she loves you... but she wishes you weren't such a fucking failure.
32. Grandma tells you about her time as a prostitute.
33. Grandma introduces you to her new friends, a group of Swingers who wear leather or nothing at all.
34. Grandma calls you a loser in front of your whole family, they agree.
35. Grandma says she looked just like you as a young girl. You even have the same boob size. You are male.
36. Grandma asks if your penis is still "itty bitty."